How is it possible....

[4cheekymonkey]

we have 4dc and been together 15 years. Relationship isn't working and it's not a healthy environment for the kids to see so much arguing. I'm a SAHM so have no earnings and youngest is only 1 so will be a while until I can go and get a job but we are not married however have 50-50 share on house. He would not co operate if I wanted to separate as he feels he would miss out on seeing the kids every day and feels in their lives it's more important to see father every day than actually being in a stable household with parents getting on.
I have no family around so nowhere to go.
What are my options??? (if I have any?)

I'd suggest you get legal advice because it's likely your partner will fill your head with worst case scenarios of why you shouldn't leave. Get the facts and take it from there.

Good for you having the strength to walk away. It's not easy but if you want any chance of happiness you need to get out of thiss situation, which is clearly just bringing you down.

An sure there will be others sling soon with better advice

Thank you. I have all the facts and feel fairly calm about it and know that while life is stressful right now, it's not the reason I feel this way. he is not the one for me and I'm just longing to be by myself and to feel free! I love my kids very much and petrified how this will affect them but when your 5 year old comes to you and says "mummy, why are you and daddy argue all the time?" You know they have already been damaged by this. I grew up in a house where mother and father not getting on and resented my mother for not leaving my father as it was an awful environment to live in.
I want to make the right decision for my kids and for myself!

He will tell you he will get 50:50 custody of kids and if he does threaten that just say "good i need to work".
The reality is he will panic at the thoughts of all that respinsibility.

31rue, he knows that won't happen. He has a good job and no way he would leave that to raise kids 50:50 that's why he will make it as difficult for me leave as possible as that way he can still have it both ways.
I think realistically I might have to just such it up until youngest is at school and I can work and pay for some of my rent.
The thought of that fills me with dread as I know he will get nasty and he is known to be a bit of a bully but really don't want the authorities to be involved.
I have an ok relationship with his father and feel I could talk to him if he goes off the rail to try and get him to come to his senses!

Get legal advice on the house. As you are not married that can't be a problem.

Start planning to work. Your youngest is one - that's no reason to prevent you working. You will have more independence and more choices with your own income.

Here's some info about how to sort out what happens with the children.

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce

He doesn't need to give up work to get 50/50

Working parents use childcare when at work. And working isn't a reason for turning down 50\50

By boulder he get 59/50? Unless he's abusive you're being unreasonable!

You can work if you want to me you're choosing not to.

I still don't think he would manage to do that as he works away sometimes and he always felt strongly me looking after the kids while they are small and don't think he could just put him into a nursery while he is small and just purely mentally I don't think he is capable/willing to have 4 kids on his own. However if he decided still to go ahead and do it, I'd not have a problem with it I'm happy to go to work!

thanks for the link reginafelangee!