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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he really that in to me?

4 replies

Ilovewinetoday · 01/09/2019 15:21

Name changed for obvious reasons , but I really need someone on the outside of this to shed some light and reassure me , I will try and keep it brief,
6/7 months into new relationship which when we first started seeing each other I thought he just wasn't that Interested but he said he thought the same about me also. He has no children been engaged twice but say both times he was cheated on. His mum also saw him go through the pain of that and now is very anxious for him . He is fantastic with my children and they like him a lot also. The thing is I know he has a shady past by what he has told me and said he has been with girls and knew it was just that , he wasn't interested in being with them in a relationship sort of way apart from the two who cheated. He tells me daily I am the one he wants , he wants to settle down now and he loves the whole family life situation.
Now my anxieties keep telling me he is a good looking bloke , he is very street wise and amazing with my family and friends. I am over weight , very self conscious and just keep asking myself why on Earth is he interested in me when he could find someone with no problems and possibly a lady with no children and a lot more attractive then myself ? It's on my mind daily , I have spoken to him about these anxieties and he reassures me it's me he wants and he isn't going anywhere . I just don't know if I can get over this to trust him enough not to hurt me Confused

OP posts:
Ilovewinetoday · 01/09/2019 21:33

Anyone 😬

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 01/09/2019 21:38

Hi op, there are never any guarantees. People get hurt all the time in relationships.

How do you feel about yourself? You talk about yourself negatively, not just the weight but as if you don't have a lot to offer. You also seem to have him in a pedestal.

Sounds to me like your priority should be working on your self esteem, not trying to second guess his future behaviour.

I'm sure you have plenty to offer :)

Ilovewinetoday · 02/09/2019 08:12

Thank you for your reply, I am trying to watch what I eat now to bring my weight down , he tell me I'm fine so I know it's all in my head but I'm just a little dubious .

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 02/09/2019 09:16

It sounds a bit worrying here to me that in such a short relationship he is so ‘into you’....
it’s way too early for him to really know if you are the ‘one that he wants’....
It’s also way too early for kids to have been introduced and be liking him....
Why such a rush, OP?
What you said about ‘shady past’ makes no sense. So he dated women without being in a relationship and that is shady? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with other posters - you need to work on your self esteem. You seem vulnerable and he may be using it.

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