So apologies as this could be a long one.. met a guy through mutual friends a few years ago now know each other pretty well started of as friends as I was in an on off Rship drunkenly slept together a year ago for the first time (during period I wasn’t with my ex )
He was pursuing me quite hard after this wanted to go on dates asked to take me away etc but admittedly I was in a situation with my now ex and wasn’t ready to move on from it yet I explained all of this to this guy.. we remained friends spoke all the time saw each other now and then when the group of friends all met up but was never one on one just me and him.. it was clear he liked me and everyone could see that.
Fast forward to a few months ago now completely out of the situation with my ex and feel I am over him.. started talking to this guy more and more and began to like him we started going on what I would say were ‘dates’ took me to a very nice expensive restaurant he paid etc he stayed at mine a few times and we slept together everything seemed to be going ok although it hasn’t been long just a few months.
He’s a few years younger than me I’m 30 and he is 28 and in the back of my mind I’ve always wondered because of comments he’s made in the past whilst we was just friends if he’s just after a casual thing.
Yesterday he made a comment I didn’t like about me starting to develop feelings for him as if it was a bad thing ?? Anyway this resulted in a long back and fourth conversation wether or not me and him had potential to go any further and was this just fun to him. He basically ended up saying he doesn’t know why we are talking about this and he doesn’t like these conversations and why would we put a title on things?! .. I was shocked as I never mentioned title I just wanted to know if he felt this could go anywhere later down the line.
I said did he feel this was just fun and sex and he said let’s call it that if you want that’s usually how things develop .. so I said to him so you just want sex from me ? And he sent me a long msg saying he is not doing this he was enjoying my time and being around me why did I have to mention this and he doesn’t want anything never really did and we should be friends ??
Am I wrong in thinking if a guy has been pursuing me for years taking me out wants to go away etc there may be potential for it to develop ?.. he knows me well he knows I am not up for casual sex and he knows I want to settle down now I feel like he’s used me we only had sex the other day.
I didn’t responsd to his last msg cos it was utter bshit.. have I mentioned this to him too early on ? Or is he showing major red flags that he doesn’t want anything serious at all?