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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I tell my ex?

13 replies

Thatsnotmynameisit · 31/08/2019 23:26

I left my ex in January after the breakdown of our 4 relationship due to his emotional abuse and addiction. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make but it was the best for both of us.
We own a house together - he stayed there and I moved in with my mum. We agreed he would pay the mortgage that's in both of our names until we were approaching the end of our fixed term mortgage then we would meet and I would sign everything over to him and walk away, we are on OK terms and speak maybe once a month.
Since leaving I now have my own place again and have met someone else and I fell pregnant pretty much straight away. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant and happier than I've ever been, but I need to meet up with my ex in the next few weeks to sort mortgage/house stuff out.
So after babbling on..(sorry!) my question is, do I tell my ex before meeting up that I'm expecting or do I just not mention it and if he asks me face to face just tell him there and then?
My friend has said that I 'owe him nothing' after what he put me though. But I just don't know what to do - please help?

OP posts:
Shutupseaguls · 31/08/2019 23:32

I wouldn't say anything.

OctoberLovers · 31/08/2019 23:34

Why are you going to hand everything to him?

Thatsnotmyname22 · 31/08/2019 23:36

He paid the deposit for the house and I just want a clean slate from it all really

elizalovelace · 31/08/2019 23:44

Its none of his business that you are pregnant. Sort house then move on.

Thatsnotmyname22 · 31/08/2019 23:47

Thank you, I'm just feeling anxious about it all really

OctoberLovers · 31/08/2019 23:47

You have a child now (nearly). Take what you have put in. You deserve it

Weejo39 · 01/09/2019 07:28

Wear a cape or poncho to hide the bump, sort the house and walk away.

Lyingonthesofainthedark · 01/09/2019 07:33

Don't tell him. Only argue about the house if there is a lot of money at stake.

eve34 · 01/09/2019 07:46

I had this problem I was six months. He didn't notice. So I didn't say anything. Good luck with your new baby.

Thatsnotmynameisit · 01/09/2019 10:32

Eve34 - I'm hoping he doesn't notice either, I'm quite chubby anyway, even before pregnancy so fingers crossed.

Nothing really any money at stake, I just want my name off of the house then it's the final tie cut.
Thanks for your replies x

OP posts:
Thatsnotmynameisit · 01/09/2019 10:33

Not really any

OP posts:
eve34 · 01/09/2019 11:55

@Thatsnotmynameisit just wear a big jumper and complain about putting on weight. That's what I did. He was oblivious.

user1493413286 · 01/09/2019 11:57

I would wear something loose fitting and say nothing. You don’t owe him anything.

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