Okay so I’ve NC for this as I’m a little embarrassed.
Last night I went out with some friends and my partner went out with his friends. No big deal. When I was in one of the pubs I bumped into a guy I used to go to school with, I haven’t seen him since I left school which was 11 years ago. We spoke in school but we weren’t close, but did talk a lot in one lesson we had together around year 8 (12/13). Around a month ago he added me on FB too. I specifically remember as I had look at his profile and remember thinking how good looking he still was.
While we were out I did cheekily admit to fancying him / being one of my first crushes when I was younger and he told me he felt the same but was too scared to say anything. As the night progressed I felt like I had to remove myself from talking to him a couple of times (as I had a few gins!) but was feeling myself flirting with him and really enjoying his company. As we were talking I did say I had a partner, spoke about him in detail and that I have recently had a baby a few months ago. He did say he was put out (or something along them lines about the bf thing) weird since he'd have seen on my Facebook that I was with someone surely?  I had several girls coming up to us (we were mainly sat in a group) getting annoyed he was talking to me and I started to worry about trouble happening. I wasn’t in the nicest area and it can be well known for trouble. When I asked why these girls were coming over he said it’s because he’s a teacher and said he teaches their kids  which I thought didn’t make a lot of sense.
As I was leaving he asked me to stay out longer but I said no and he kissed me on the cheek. As I was walking away he pulled me back and asked for my number. I’m not gunna lie I really did want to give him it, I really did. However, I said I didn’t think it was appropriate and left.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this but I can’t get this man out of my head. I literally fancy the pants off him still, he’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s making me question my relationship with my DP, which I thought was okay. We have a good life and our LG was born 5 months ago. We’ve not really had sex as much (and it is getting to me) he says he’s tired or yesterday when we both got in (similar timing too!) he’d had too much to drink. Which was disappointing especially as my mum was watching my little girl over night so we were child free - it rarely happens as I don't like leaving my little one over night.
Another part of me is thinking am I just feeling like this because I’ve had a baby, me and DP don’t really spend that much time together alone. Where as yesterday I had that contact with somebody else and he was giving me attention and complimenting me. Was I just enjoying the attention and compliments? I wouldn’t say I’m low on self esteem and I’m back to pre pregnancy weight (I had HG during pregnancy so I was sick throughout and literally had the bump so didn’t have much to loose) but on the other hand I’m not this super confident woman either. Could I be hormonal? Am I just sexually frustrated? It's driving me mad.
I don’t really know what to think as I’ve never felt like this before, I’ve been with my DP for over 8 years. Could there be issues with our relationship I’m over looking? I don’t think I want to be with the other guy and I do love my DP. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Lately I do feel lwe are like friends as one of us stays up and the other one goes to bed with the baby as she's still in our room. I feel like it's changed since having my LG, which I knew it would but still it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I know it's probably because we are both tired etc, will it get better? I’m just wondering if this feeling will pass?
I feel really guilty feeling like this hence the post on here
TIA