My boyfriend (35) and I have had a great relationship for about a year, we work well together, are compatible and have talked about kids. We have had our hiccups, including a week were I barely saw him as his niece was visiting and I was hurt he made no effort to spend a little bit of alone time with me.
About 3 weeks ago his nephew (18) arrived to stay with him for a month for work experience. I was dreading it considering how little I saw of him the week his niece visited. I knew he would fail to make time for us as a couple. Was proved correct in the first week when he spent every waking minute with his nephew and I asked if he could set aside a few hours for me that week, he told me it was impossible. Asked for the week after, and got another irritated response finally got him to commit to coming round to my house an evening during the week. I joined him and his nephew on holiday which was a disaster as his nephew wanted to go out partying every night, I didn't. I felt like my boyfriend resented me and I called him out on it, and he said he didn't want to hurt me but he didn't know what he wanted, he got upset while telling me this. I asked how long he had been feeling this way, he said since his nephew arrived but when asked assured me he was happy before that. I told him that I have not been very happy the last few weeks either but we had to acknowledge that there is an external factor putting pressure on us. So I told him I would give him space for the rest of his nephews visit and we could see how we are after. He took me out for my birthday during the week and we had a brilliant time, felt like all the stress and uncertainty over the past few weeks melted away and we were good again.
But I have barely heard from him since, and I know I shouldn't resent this as I promised him space but it hurts me that he even needs this and is even having doubts like this. It worries that my 35 year old boyfriend still wants to run around partying with an 18 yr old after he has been so content and looking forward to building a future. Part of me feels like he is being too selfish and immature and another part of me feels giving him the space will make him realise how good we are together and will get this out of his system.
Am I being stupid or should I have faith in him?