Draining supporting depressed husband

[prognos1s]

I don't want this to come across in a bad way as I understand the effects that depression has on a person. My husbands depressed and I'm finding it utterly exhausting both physically and mentally. I have 2 children under 3 and have them 24/7 and barely get out. I take them to play areas and to the beach and playgroups but not to see my friends and I'll see one of 2 friends for a couple of hours a week. It's lonely but doesn't really bother me as I enjoy my kids company and am a bit of an introvert.

On top of that I'm having to constantly be the happy one to try and cheer him up and always have the answers plus tolerate him sleeping all of the time and doing ALL OF THE HOUSEWORK. I picked up days at work but dropped them again as I felt sorry the kids not getttinng out when I was working. I never get a well done or are you okay I don't know. I haven't had a shower without my kids in months and my youngest is still breastfeeding at 18 months so I'm up 2-3 times in the night with her too then up again every morning at 5am with my eldest. I don't know how to explain it or to ask for help.

Is he seeking treating for his depression? Do you see things improving? It sounds like your mental health is taking a hit trying to support him.
If he's not seeking help, I don't think it will improve for you and the kids. You've all accepted his behaviour as the norm.
I'd explain to him how you are feeling and how you can't carry on like this. Tell him that you need to lighten the load on you.

@Caselgarcia I have him an ultimatum a couple of weeks ago that he needs to go to the doctors so he's got an appointment booked but not for another week.
I don't feel sad or down I just feel drained and a bit lonely and I've tried telling him but he just says along the lines of 'I'm depressed do you want me to pretend to not be' nomatter what I say. I'd rather that than him going through it and not talking to anyone

Depressed or not, he can still help with the kids. Suggest to him if he gets busier with the kids it may help how he's feeling.

I am sorry you are going through this. Many people have Mental Health issues especially in todays society when there is so much pressure on everything, but there is also this 'this person has depression so I must be on eggshells around them' and because of that we sometimes allow people to treat us badly because they are having all these problems so we allow it. You have so much to contend with already so be clear that he needs to get help and you are willing to support him but you also need support with your children, and home life. Don't allow the depression as an excuse for you to be treated with disrespect. Wishing you all the best and I hope things improve for you