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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend really wants a family

5 replies

French189 · 31/08/2019 14:45

I'm 28 and have a friend who is 32, and she lives abroad now so haven't seen her since Christmas.
She has been single for around 5 years and not really had anything short-term since then either.
She, like some other women i imagine, is starting to feel that 'time is running out'.

She says she's so tired of being single, and that in the country where she's leaving, people tend to get married and settle down very young, so she finds it hard to meet single men.

I suggested to her that she doesn't necessarily need to have a partner to have a child but she said that there is no way she can afford to raise a child alone.

Not sure what kind of advice I can offer her outside of the usual try OLD, join clubs, socialise in new places etc.

I've told her that she still has plenty of time but she doesnt want to be an 'older mum'.

What else could she possibly try ? She seems quite depressed and has lost all hope.

OP posts:
French189 · 31/08/2019 14:46

I've noticed that when I or another mutual friend is dating somebody she'll never say that she's happy for us or anything, she will find faults, and then when it ends she will be all over it.
In a way I understand it is hard for her to see her friends dating and not her.

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 31/08/2019 14:58

She wants to be a mum, but doesnt want to be an older mum. Well it's kind of tough isn't it? If she wants to settle down and meet someone and have kids shes realistically going to be 35 by the time kids come along. She needs to get out and try dating but I don't know how you tell her that without being harsh.

Directionless2019 · 31/08/2019 15:41

Stay out of it. My friends are always trying to find a way for me. There are many, many reasons it can't happen. None of which they understand.

GilbertMarkham · 31/08/2019 16:59

Older mum, 32 .. Hmm.

Anyway, if she's truly investigated every route to meeting someone in her present country and its so difficult to meet someone, perhaps she should relocate.

French189 · 31/08/2019 17:07

Thanks for the replies! Yeah, she's adamant that risks to both the Mother and baby increase after 35.
She's certain that this is the country she wants to settle in due to its professional opportunities, but yeah I suppose she needs to try putting herself out there more or relocate..

OP posts:
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