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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Off limits?

6 replies

ChangChang · 31/08/2019 00:39

Left my abusive ex almost 2.5 years ago and finally getting to a point where I feel worthwhile and happy with who I am. My two children take part in a sports activity twice a week, and through that I've met a couple of single dads who seem really nice. I get on well with one in particular - would it be a mistake to ask him out for a coffee some time? Or is it inappropriate and potentially cringey if he says no / or we have a terrible date?

OP posts:

PeterthePainter · 31/08/2019 00:43

Ask him. Why not?

CheerySal · 31/08/2019 00:43

Dearest, don’t be shy. You deserve someone who treats you right, not some fart face who hates women. Therefore don’t be coy about suggesting a drink in some cool new place some time soon. Personally I find “let’s do coffee” kind of thing screams “marry me!” whereas casually suggesting you try some swish new place with its cool ambiance hits the cooler vibe ;)

HeddaGarbled · 31/08/2019 00:45

It’s not inappropriate but it could be potentially cringey if it’s a no and you have to see him twice a week subsequently. Depends how good you are at brazening it out.

Knitclubchatter · 31/08/2019 00:45

it's coffee, honestly sometimes i'm stuck having to share a table with a total stranger when the shop is full.
his loss if he says no, but no matter what he says, still go out for your coffee (in case he changes his mind).

hazandduck · 31/08/2019 03:34

How did you find out he was single? If he offered the information in conversation I’d say he was angling for a date or something and go for it!

This advice I give so easily would be absolutely terrifying to follow myself though lol.

Divebar · 31/08/2019 06:44

Why in God’s name does everything have to be cringey? FGS. Ask the guy out for coffee in a super casual way - if he declines or makes excuses you flash him a smile and say something like “ well you can’t blame a girl for trying “ or some such upbeat phrase. You then style it out completely and go back to your normal friendly self. I asked my now DH out and he declined because he had a girlfriend I didn’t know about. Six months later he let me know he was single again and here we are 14 years down the line.

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