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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Happy anniversary - not

13 replies

Meery · 30/08/2019 20:38

It’s our silver wedding anniversary next week, this should be a cause for celebration apparently, but I feel so down about our marriage that i feel I cannot fake happiness and am looking forwards to the actual day with dread. Sorry if that sounds over dramatic but I am having trouble articulating this, hence having a rambling vent.
After 25 years we have simply grown apart, and I am coming to the realisation that we will separate at some point in future, due to unreasonable behaviour on my dh part as I see it.
Anyway dh asked a few days back what we were doing to celebrate and I told him nothing, and I didn’t want to do anything. His idea would be for me to get friends together either at home, or in a fancy restaurant in London, as he likes to be the big I am throwing money around. I just feel I’d be getting people together under false pretences and do not want to do it. Off he went in a sulk as it’s the done thing to celebrate a 25th and I was being awkward.
I thought no more of it until I found out today that he’s approached my bridesmaids inviting them and their oh to dinner in an expensive restaurant in London sometime in Nov for a celebration.
Which part of no did he not get? Putting aside the fact that I do not want to celebrate, even if I did, I would not choose to do it in this way.
How can I stop this?

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 20:40

Are you the one with the cheating husband who has a place in london?

Shoxfordian · 30/08/2019 20:44

Have you told him how you feel about the marriage?

GoFiguire · 30/08/2019 20:46

Maybe you should just have a nice meal.

Meery · 30/08/2019 21:04

No I haven’t told him how I feel. I do think that that is the next step but I am fearful of rocking the boat so to speak. On the surface we have a nice life, but it’s just so empty.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 21:06

I'll ask again as you've missed me out

Is this your cheating husband who has a place in london and you've been told a billion times to leave and you never come back to the countless threads?

Shoxfordian · 30/08/2019 21:10

You need to tell him
He probably thinks he wants to take you out somewhere nice and you're secretly wanting to leave. Not fair

Imtrying2 · 30/08/2019 21:52

You need to talk to him and tell him how u feel

Meery · 30/08/2019 21:57

No, not me on the other threads, sorry for missing you out.

Yes, agree need to communicate, thanks all

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/08/2019 21:57

How to stop it ?

Start divorce proceedings

Elieza · 30/08/2019 21:59

Counselling may help?

letsdolunch321 · 30/08/2019 22:12

A nice life is not going to make up
For the loneliness and unloved feeling you may be experiencing.

We all only get one life.

ConfCall · 30/08/2019 22:25

It sounds dismal. I think for both your sakes you should separate as amicably as possible OP.

Lolyanta17 · 30/08/2019 22:31

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