Hiding from an abusive partner

[Siablue]

I have posted before but I can’t find my previous thread.

My husband is very controlling and the abuse has got worse since I got pregnant and our baby was born. He is now one and I have gone back to work which H is trying to sabotage.

I feel totally broken. I am constantly on edge. I don’t know what mood he will be in when he gets in. I am not allowed to make any decisions about our house which is in an awful state. I can’t get rid of the rubbish as I am not allowed to put things in the bin.

I reported him to the police a few weeks ago as I was at breaking point. I am going to go in to make a video statement but need to find a time to do it when it is safe.

I met with a lovely lady from women’s aid and she suggested going into a refuge. I said I am worried about leaving because he will get worse. I can never be free of him because of our baby and he will try and control him too and if we split up I won’t be there to protect him when he has contact.

She said that if I went into a refuge I could move away and he would have to apply to the courts for contact and he could only do that if he finds me. Has anyone hid from their ex partner?

I know that leaving a controlling partner is the most dangerous time. I just want to keep my baby safe.

The hardest step is the first and you’ve taken it!

Every decision you make needs to be careful, considered and safe.

Can family assist? Does your job have any programs that can help?

My family could help. If I go into a refuge I would most likely have to give up my job. I really don’t want to as I will already have to lose everything else in my life but it would be easier to find me.

I would like to disappear with my son and not be found. I just want us to be left alone. I know if I leave and he finds us it will be worse for us. That’s why I am still here.

I understand that and I hope you do so safely. You can find another job. You can’t undo the damage he will continue to do to you and your child.

Use whatever resources you can. Losing everything material is better than losing your life.

Yes, I did this. I moved hundreds of miles away from my home, job, family, friends and everything I’d ever known. I’ve never regretted it for a second.

I wish you all the best

NC2saythis that’s fantastic to hear. I am happy for you.

I wasn’t sure if it was possible.

It’s definitely not easy to do it, I won’t lie. It took a lot of courage but it’s the best think I’ve ever done and I hope you can find a way. Good luck with everything