I don't know what to do.

[lindam23]

Hi

I am in a relationship and have been for almost 12 years and we have been engaged for 2 years. We got together when we were 15.

I love him so much but am starting to wonder if I only love him as my best friend. We have a daughter together who is almost 1 and he is such a good dad and so loving and caring towards me and would never do anything hurt me.

He is quite lazy and I sometimes feel like his mum, he also plays a lot of computer games which annoys me as he often would rather do this than spend time with us. This has always been an issue and we have had a lot of full blown arguments over the years about it. However as a person I can't fault him.

I can't stop thinking that I've missed out on things being together so young and feel like I don't know myself as a person but only myself with him. I have also had a crush on someone recently, I have never nor would I ever act on it but it made me think that if I really loved him and wanted to be with him that this wouldn't happen.

We hardly have sex anymore as I have no interest and feel so guilty about it. He asked me if I'm still attracted to him and I don't think I am but I couldn't bring myself to tell him.

He loves me so so much and I know it would absolutely devastate him, I just don't know what to do. I am lost, I don't want to break up our family but I don't know if I'm truly happy.

I keep going through phases feeling like this then everything seems good again and a couple months later it comes back up.

Any advice welcome please. X

I’ve been with my husband since we were 16 and I think it’s normal to doubt a relationship after so long together, especially getting together as teenagers it’s easy to wonder if you’ve missed out.

Do you do anything together? Date nights or anything? If not maybe it’s worth a try doing that see if it brings a spark back for you? It may just be that you’re both so comfortable with each other that none of that seems to matter but I think it makes a massive difference.

You say he’s a great dad and would never do anything to hurt you and he loves you so much so there’s a big positive for you.

The computer games thing is a bloke thing unfortunately, they don’t tend to grow out of it! As annoying as it is 🙄 but again he’s probably just got comfortable and thinks it doesn’t matter.

It sounds to me like your relationship is worth fighting for. Give the date nights thing a try and see how it goes. Good luck x