My good friend, in her 50s, falls in love with the first man who pays her any attention. Literally says she's in love with him after two weeks and says 'He's the one!'. She will then do anything to keep him happy, put up with any shit he gives her. So far it's been psychological abuse and general misuse of her, with some 'minor' physical things like being pushed/shoved. When he breaks up with her, she's absolutely devastated. She drinks masses, becomes suicidal etc. It doesn't matter if it's after a month or two years. If he then changes his mind, she'll have him back. Always - unless I point out, like this time, that he's broken up with her 4 times in four months and he'll keep doing if if she keeps taking him back.
She gets upset if he (whoever he is) doesn't respond to text messages, if he doesn't want to drop everything and come over and be with her when she's sad (after a couple of weeks of relationship).
In addition to these lack of boundaries, she also will do things like show me dick pics her 'one true love' has sent her, after I've asked her not to (I have a history of abuse so this is hard for me). I tell her I don't like it, but she is SO wrapped up in him, that she doesn't see it's inappropriate anyway.
She had a difficult childhood, that she doesn't fully appreciate (sometimes she says things in passing that she obviously doesn't realise are quite as bad as they are), including things like being with her mother as she looked for somewhere to kill herself! Her father was an alcoholic.
All these things, to me, stem from desperately wanting parental love and affection and a lack of feeling secure. She's not malicious, she's not unkind. She's like a child in some ways. She has a responsible job working with children and does very well - she is good at making them feel safe and secure.
I have got her started on to the Freedom Programme to help her recognise signs of abusive behaviour. I am in the process of helping her get some longer term psychological help which she agrees she needs - and wants - to help her deal with this all. Can anybody help me with what sort of psychological terms would be useful both in searching for appropriate info online and in drafting an email to a psychologist. We are not in the UK and she will be able to - eventually - see a clinical psychologist for as long as she needs.