First Dates

[2plus1my3]

Is there such a thing as a normal first date?
What do you usually do for first date?
What do you talk about?
What's the rules in this day and age?

There are no rules.
I've had all sorts of 1st dates.
Some just quick coffee to see how we get on.
Some drinks in a pub.
The one at the weekend was drinks, then a meal, then dancing!
But I know him anyway, if that makes sense?

If it's OLD then I would suggest meeting as soon as possible.
For a non alcoholic drink and a walk maybe if the weather is nice.

Conversation should flow.
Usually it's work, kids, hobbies, siblings, likes and dislikes.
You can ask about previous relationships but don't dwell.
I often ask 'So why are you single?'
That can provoke all sorts of answers and can tell you a lot about a person.

Have a look at THIS THREAD as well and get some advice on there.

let the course of conversation take a natural flow. Try to avoid applying a series of questions to your target - it's off-putting. Also, don't mention exes - it's a massive turn-off, at least in the first few dates. You need to show your date that the exclusive object of your affections is the person you're dating, not some bloke from the past.

First date for most people I know it drinks and if going well someone suggests dinner.
As for what to talk about - errr anything/everything - this person relatively unknown to you. Find out about them.
Usual rule of thumb don’t ask opinions on Brexit

I usually go for an early drink.

I usually don't get too dolled up - save that for a second date when you know you like them and they're worth the time and effort.

The rules are

Be on time, smile, pay for your own stuff, ask questions about them. Expect the same from them.

If you feel any red flags or just any discomfort then make an excuse and leave

If someone tries to kiss me on a first date I always stop them - to see how they cope with me saying no - and to leave a little for next time. But that's just my own rule.

Thanks for the response guys. Bit of background, I'm 32 and 2 years out of a 15yr relationship. So this will be my first ever date outwith my ex. I am terrified. I've been speaking with the guy for like 6 weeks, just messaging, now I'm nervous we've left it too long to meet also? We're heading for a drink, how do I make sure I don't over do it but also not be boring ha

Hi OP - why did you leave it so long to meet? Don't stress, you should have plenty to talk about if you;'ve been chatting for 6 weeks.
Obviously try not to talk 'too much'. Just start with asking how his day has been. Its never as bad as you think it might be.
I;ve not been on that many dates but those I have been on have never been awful. Some better than others but I've never been in awkward silences. I think most people (men and women) know they have to make an effort to make conversation if they have made the effort to actually go on a date.
Just take a deep breath and enjoy it, do not over-prepare.

Ignore @OnlyFoolsnMothers - always check their Brexit view or you might end up on a date with a leaver/Tory

First date I usually go for a quick drink or a coffee - then if I feel like extending the date, I will do. Keeps it low key and no pressure to stay if you're not feeling that click in person.

Definitely avoid discussing ex's, just give bare details and say that you don't want to focus on that as it's all in the past... That's usually what I say.

Look out for how he behaves too, how he treats staff & people around him - can usually signal a lot about the person.

The most important thing on a date is to keep it light hearted and fun ☺️🌈 you're getting to know each other - nerves are normal and a part of meeting someone for the first time!

I left a 8.5yr relationship and getting back into dating was a process for me. The more you go on the better you get at doing them. 😎

Good luck - don't forget to let us know how it goes!! 🌈

Also, have you had a quick 10min call on the phone? It might help Break the ice for the initial meet

coffee in public place. 30 minutes or so. that's it. if you want a second date say so.

see how they treat others