I have posted about my mum before under different names. As a child she was physically and mentally abusive to me and my older sister. She was like that until I moved out at 24. The mental abuse was worse but the physical abuse was almost daily beatings.
I have kids now and she started being abusive to my eldest when he hit secondary. Never in front of me but always within earshot. I’m sure it was to hurt me still. That was fixed by my eldest deciding she was nasty and not wanting to see her again.
My youngest son has asd and goes to a special school. Anyway at the beginning of summer I took the youngest two to stay with her for a night. I struggle with the kids without their dad ( he’s not too keen on my mum and was working). I took my mum and kids out to a few things and she said my son was out of control and needed a slap. As usual i tried to ignore as I’m condition to accept her behaviour as normal. Then the next day while I was buying her dinner she said to me “he not getting better, why do you send him to that school, you beat him or I will” so I shouted loudly “he is never going to get better, it’s like brain damage, it will never go away. Like if you had a stroke I couldn’t reverse your effects by slapping you all day long”. I finished dinner fuming. Kids are oblivious.
Meet that afternoon with a old school friend who laughed it off. I told my mil once about the abuse and she said I probably deserved it! I only started to realise it was abuse a few years ago. But most people minimised it.
I would so love a normal family life. My mum is 75 but still very with it and healthy. It’s just so unfair. I dreamed last night it was all a mistake and I was adopted. How sad is that??
My sister hates my mum and is no contact. I’m only in contact out of guilt. But I don’t think I like my mum. Ok she’s my only mum but she gets a genuine kick rom being nasty. Does it to everyone. Cuts you apart with a smile on her face and glint in her eye like it’s the only thing that makes her feel alive.
There’s nothing nice about her at all.
If i Did what she did to my kids people would be horrified, but it was me so that’s ok.
It makes you feel so worthless. She has fallen twice in the past few months and I’m half scared shes going to fall and break her neck but at the same time I need some time and space away from her.
My mother in law lives abroad and comes over every year but only see her grandkids for days. Film used to live a mile away and again never saw the kids. It’s all so dysfunctional with both pil “making the most out of life” that they don’t see the kids as a priority in grabbing every second out of life so that makes me keep in contact with my mum too. No other family members has any time for the kids.
Sorry just need to get this out. Who’s own mother doesn’t like her own kids? I know it’s her not me, but I still wonder why she doesn’t love me. Well she does but in her own way. I wish I had another mum. There I said it. I wish I had a different mum