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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

End of not the end?

4 replies

Angel54321 · 29/08/2019 15:05

Hi Everyone

I'm wondering if you can shed some opinions.
So spouse and i have had a very rocky last 3 months, lots has been said nasty things have been said i moved out for a couple months parents got involved, i started therapy, i moved back but everything has gone quiet like literally cold! No one is talking to anyone his family have gone radio silent on me My parents tried reaching out to him but he hasn't got back to them. Divorce was mentioned on his part but nothing has been done yet. I'm driving my self insane because i don't have the courage to file i really don't understand why but he isn't either....We literally live in the same house but do our own thing, sleep separate, eat separate, don't talk. I feel the longer this goes on the harder it will be to come back from it and actually try and make it work... i think he believes the longer he leaves it it will just blow over and we will go back to being happy family again i'm not sure how you can :-( I'm literally sleeping so much anytime i get just to switch off, i barely go out not because i can't but i just don't feel to.

Is this normal?
Will he eventually get fed up and file?
Has anyone ever heard of been in a similar situation?
Does this exist where both parties are not together but still live together?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 29/08/2019 15:45

Can you move out again?
What is the living situation?
Why can't you file for divorce?
Why are you waiting for him?
This isn't making much sense to me - sorry

Angel54321 · 29/08/2019 16:12

@hellsbellsmelons
-I can move out but my work is close to where we have our house. otherwise id be paying twice or travelling alot
-The living situation is "co living" we both just go to work come home and weekends see our own families very - no communication
-I can file but i'm struggling to find the courage and feel like he said it he wants it that bad he should.

  • I think knowing the person i am i'm struggling with the feeling of guilt that i did it (if i did file) i don't know its so hard to explain how i am feeling wondering if anyone has been a similar situation. Maybe im indenial :( Why wont he file?
OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 29/08/2019 16:22

Probably for similar reasons to you.
It's an odd feeling.
Like you've failed at something.
Like you've failed at life.
Been there.

What I mean by living situation is..
Is the house mortgaged or rented?
In who's name?
Who pays the mortgage or rent?

Angel54321 · 29/08/2019 17:28

@hellsbellsmelons

Do you get through it? how long does it take? is it normal that family/friends saying "when are you hoping to do something about it" and all you want to do us hide and never be found? Its been about 4 months like this now...

Flat, mortgaged on both our names. He pays the mortgage i pay for the bills in the property value is there or thereabouts the same

OP posts:
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