Evasive friend

[CheerySal]

I made a friend on holiday earlier in the year, and really appreciated meeting her since my travel companion turned out to be a total nightmare (that's another story). New friend and I got on incredibly well on holiday and had some really fun trips out. It also turned out we live a few miles from each other in my home town (Bath). Now, this was back in Jan and since then I've seen her once. I've reached out to her many times now to meet up but she keeps fobbing me off, promising to get together soon, only to fail to arrange anything. She seems to have a busy social life but I can't help feeling like I'm on the bottom of her list. What to do? Keep gently nudging or explicitly schedule drinks / coffee, or just let it go? I find this flakiness very disappointing as she was a real laugh on holiday and we bonded - or so I thought. Not sure I should just delete her number / Facebook etc. altogether. I'm torn...

Maybe she wasn't totally honest with you and doesn't want to be outed?
Different life /job /status or whatever.

Holiday friendships are like holiday romances, you don't expect them to last forever.

As she keeps putting you off I'd stop contacting her. No need to delete her, just don't actively get in touch.

When you met on holiday, it was very easy to spend loads of time together, but now you're back in the real world. Not to be harsh, but you ARE on the bottom of her list. She's back with her friends, family, job, so it's only natural that the time you shared while on holiday has come to an end. I think you made much more of your "relationship" than she did. Just let it go and move on.

"What do do?"

Nothing. You've done it already. If she was interested in a friendship, she'd have reached out to you.

If you keep nudging her, you will appear odd or pushy.

You can't force someone to be your friend. If you're offering and she's no taking you up on it then she doesn't want to meet. Don't keep hassling her.

Your lives briefly overlapped on holiday, you had a great time - good. Your lives no longer overlap and so you have to move on...7 months and only one meet up since even though you're only a few miles apart, you know the answer really.

I have such a busy life and my social life is chokka that I would struggle to add anyone else to it despite really enjoying meeting new people. Don't take it personally and I would just leave it.

I hardly have the time to see my own best friends to be honest, even people I love dearly.

Do you have many people in your life OP? Kids/DH/family/friends?

Sometimes I have got on really well with someone I've met and we've promised to stay in touch, go for drinks etc.

But really, life just gets in the way. I have too many friends already, spread myself too thinly and end up as a flakey friend.

I suspect your holiday friend loved your company, but the reality of home, family, work, friends, commitments etc just make it impossible for her to commit properly to a new friendship that needs to be nurtured etc. You haven't done anything wrong, just take a step back and see if she ever contacts you first.

Don’t delete or block but just stop contacting her. She knows how to contact you.

Some people are only in our life while we needed them. If you block her that would be awkward if you bump into her again.