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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

‘You need to hurry up if you want kids’

30 replies

EmptyFillingStation · 28/08/2019 22:01

Why does anyone think that’s an ok thing to say?

I’m feeling so shit tonight. 35 and fertility over according to colleagues and general public/news.

I feel like giving up.

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 28/08/2019 23:07

Remember female friebds/acquaintances may have single brothers, their partner's single friends etc. The wider and more active your social acquaintance, the better .. and also better for your mental health.

HappyParent2000 · 28/08/2019 23:09

Mid 30s is a great time to take control, Leo your options open and don’t let any doors close.

Azuresilver · 28/08/2019 23:09

You're the same age as Meghan Markle was when she met Prince Harry, look where she is now!

HildegardCrowe · 28/08/2019 23:15

I was in the same boat at 35 as you OP but went on to have my daughter when I was 42 (she was naturally conceived).

Cattenberg · 29/08/2019 00:35

I had a fertility MOT when I was 35 and single, and the initial results suggested that my ovarian reserve was significantly lower than average for my age. These tests have their limitations (being unable to measure egg quality is a big drawback), but the feeling that I might have left it too late was horrible for me. So horrible, in fact, that I ended up going it alone, with support from my family. I don’t regret it.

It is a lonely, depressing place to be. But although you’re lonely, you’re far from being alone. Many, many women are in this situation. Some of us just don’t get everything we want, or if we do, it’s not all at once or in the right order. Only you can decide what’s most important to you.

I have a friend who also became a mum on her own. I have a friend who had a baby with Mr Obviously Wrong, and co-parenting with him is not easy. And I have two friends who only wanted children if they were in a decent, stable relationship. They didn’t find the right partners at the right age, so didn’t have kids. All of these women are attractive and good company, by the way, and two of them have led really interesting lives.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

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