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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else have a sport addicted DH?

8 replies

checkedcloth · 28/08/2019 21:40

It’s really really getting me down and making me seriously consider the future of my Marriage.

It feels as is DH is addicted to following all sports. Constant updates and score checking on his phone. Weekend plans dictated by match fixtures. He disappeared this weekend at a friends house, I found him in a bedroom watching cricket on his phone

Tonight he was spending ages ‘doing’ fantasy football.

To put in context he is a compulsive gambler, although bet free for 3 years. I feel as if sport is the new gambling in our lives.

I’m bored of it. He thinks I’m just nagging when I bring it up. We seem to go round in circles. I’ve said I can’t see a future if it continues yet he doesn’t seem to take me seriously

OP posts:
SnorkMaiden81 · 28/08/2019 21:41

Sorry I don't really have any advice but that wouldn't do for me.

Sounds very self absorbed and BORING.

checkedcloth · 28/08/2019 21:45

It is boring. It’s like he has nothing else to add - I feel as if he makes no effort to make any conversation with me. I asked him why and he says ‘it’s just how he is and as he gets older it’s getting worse’

But we are only in our 40’s. Is this it?

OP posts:
peonyfairy03 · 28/08/2019 23:01

I have a sports mad DH and I have excepted that is the way he is. Every sport possible even the sport news channel. Tbh I would rather him be like this than my ex who missed so much of his DCs lives through addicted to work, socialising and at the pub.

The way I deal with it I do things for myself and he compromises and we do things together however he does constantly check his phone.

CloudyWithAChance2 · 28/08/2019 23:20

Is this a sudden change or has he always been like this?

Heartofglass12345 · 28/08/2019 23:42

Was he like it before you married him? It would've been a dealbreaker for beforehand to be honest. I couldn't be with anyone who constantly watched sport or played it and let it take over their lives

confusedofengland · 29/08/2019 10:12

I kind of get where you're coming from. For us it's 'just' football. DH watches it (in person & on TV) whenever he can. The club he has a season ticket for is based 130 miles away so watching them live means being gone for 12 hours. He also is chairman of the local junior football club & is coach, so away from home every Saturday morning & Sunday morning & doing admin every night for hours & maintenance on a lot of his days off. Then there's the fantasy football league he's part of. Plus when he sees my parents/his dad/his friends it's virtually all they can talk about. It wasn't like this before we got married & had DC.

It is making me seriously reconsider our marriage. It's been going on for a few years at this level & he said he'd try & change some things, but if anything he's more involved. I can't keep coming so far down in his list of priorities (football, then his parents, then his friends, then me & DC). He only seems to spend time with us if there's no other option & I think it has finally broken me. I've spent most of yesterday & today in tears because I'm so upset about all this & he doesn't ask me what's wrong. I've had enough, I deserve better & so do the DC.

category12 · 29/08/2019 10:18

He probably is using it as a substitute for gambling, it sounds like compulsion more than hobby. (Although could he be combining the two?) Basically he's always got to have something like this going on and you come afterwards.

Gemma1971 · 29/08/2019 10:30

Ex was a compulsive gambler and was constantly on the phone checking football, basketball, racing results. If it moved, he would bet on it. He wasted thousands of pounds a year.

It was one of the reasons I left. It was part of his repertoire of abuse. He lied about doing it, lied about "borrowing" my money (sometimes stole it) to pay for bets. He lied about going to the bookies when the slip was there in his pocket.

I could never be with a compulsive gambler again. He was permanently on the phone. Always on BetFred or some site like it. Oh I am only looking at the results, he would say.

Yes, because he had just gambled 10 quid of my money.

Be careful. It's not a healthy sports addiction like playing a sport. It's more than likely money getting wasted, no matter what he tells you.

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