How long messaging before you meet in person is reasonable?

[Leapoffaith00]

I agree that its better to not message too long as you begin to paint a picture of a person in your own head. Also I have had men express lots of future taking, appeared lovely via text but not so much in person.
I have learnt through experience, to get to know the basics and meet for coffee asap. However, how long is reasonable?
Life is precious so for me, I like to have a good feeling about someone, chat for a little while, see if the conversation flows, things in common etc.
The thing is - people don't always turn out to be who they say any way, so why build up that conversation to begin with. Recently a few guys have asked to meet within exchanging a few messages? Before, this would annoy me but now I question if maybe this is the right thing to do.
I don't really know what the answer is.....

I always aim to meet within a few days, schedule allowing, for all the reasons you say. A profile plus an exchange of ten messages or so gives you enough of an idea to work out whether they’re somebody you can bear to have a drink or coffee with: without exception IMO, the idiots will out themselves as idiots within far fewer messages than that.

Also, you really don’t need to have as much in common with somebody on paper as you think you do and can find out more about whether you’re compatible in person than by matching up whether you have the same hobbies and like the same movies etc.

Also, for the record, I’ve never had a bad date. I’ve had dates with (perfectly okay) guys I didn’t want a second date with but never for reasons I’d have found out through lots more messaging.

Meet ASAP if you can. I have had an experience with this. Was talking for 3 months until we met in person and didn't feel the same as in text, sounds bizarre. You do paint an image in your head.

I think talking on the phone for ten minutes or so is a good compromise

Few days of messaging, phone call and then meet. Don't invest time on something that may not work out when you see each other face to face.

I agree, it's best to meet up
after a few days of messaging. Some people just want text buddies and the messaging can go on and on.

Also, if you message a lot before meeting you might run out of things to ask or talk about on the date.

I'm struggling to find a flow of conversation with anyone right now. They don't seem to ask questions about me, my life, etc.....
Lots of men message a few messages back and forth and ask to meet. That's why I thought I'd ask here, because maybe that's what I should be doing.
I have been on dates with guys that I have struck up convenient with beforehand. I then feel like I want to make time, I look forward to meeting as this is how it's supposed to feel. Then after a date or 2 it hasn't worked anyway. So now I. Thinking maybe I just need to ignore their lack of conversations or I will be single forever. Take a chance maybe. It just takes the excitement out of it.

I probably wouldn't want to message for much longer than a week if possible. On more than one occasion I have become quite keen simply from the messages (and sometimes phone calls) and then realised they weren't quite what I expected in person. I won't make that mistake again.

I normally chat for a few days/week via the ap, then around another week by text (tends to be more frequent), then meet.

I only meet people I get a good feeling from via the text though and generally even if there isn’t a spark, I find I get on with that person

About a week, or thereabouts at most I would say. My current partner and I messaged one weekend, then nothing for a week, then messaged the following weekend (it was about an event that happened on the Saturday), and then arranged to meet the following day. So we messaged only for two or so days, but there was a week between those days. We did message quite a bit on those days though, and he said enough interesting things to make me want to meet. We've been together almost seven months, and things are good 😊

Go with your gut. If the flows not there, then I always think they aren't that bothered. There will be someone who is interesting in finding out about you and not just coming to see what your duvet cover looks like!
I wait a good 2 weeks. But unsavourables usually make themselves evident quite quickly...that's if you're good at reading the signs!