Sharing responsibility of a dog with his ex

[Honeybadger22]

I've been with my boyfriend almost 1.5 years, he has a 6 year old child from a previous relationship. His relationship with his ex isn't the best, they've only recently become more amicable towards one another.

They've decided to get a dog for their little boy, as a gift - they would share the responsibility of the dog. This would mean him going to her house to walk the dog, sharing vets / food bills etc etc

I'm not sure if I'm over reacting, but I feel like it's just added responsibility & commitment between them both? Does this seem a little weird to anyone else? Just looking for some opinions

It’s ridiculous. What a stupid idea.

As pp says, that's totally implausible and a ridiculous idea.

I would actually end the relationship over this.
He can do what he wants he's stupid but it's a red flag that he's further entwining his life with ex and therefore putting obstacles in the way of further commitment to you.

Bin. 🗑

Very stupid idea. They can't share a dog if they aren't together. It would never work with walks or food bills.
Sounds like she wants the dog for the child but doesn't want to deal with it.... but if the dog is going to be at hers it's her responsibility.

No, no, no! It will end in resentment and arguments.

I know someone who shares 'custody' of their dog with their ex husband after they divorced. I think it's utterly ludicrous.

I share a hamster with ex
Kind of. Its DD's hamster. Turns out she barely saw it when it lived at ex's, so now it mostly goes where she goes. I didn't sign up for it, but it's fine.

I'd consider it for a dog too TBH but only if DD was older and the dog was HER dog and came and went with her. Couldn't be doing with reasons for extra trips over there.

Also ex and I have been separated for 6 years and are amicable. When we'd only been split a couple of years it would have been a total no no.

I know a couple who did this. The dog went with the child though. So when the dad had the child he had the child and the dog. Then when the child went to the mother, she had the dog.

Worked well as far as I know.

An absolutely batshit crazy idea on every side and I agree with Pics, I would end a relationship over it.

Just no. I feel sorry for the dog. They thrive on routine and stability, not being bandied around like a toy.

The only way I could see it working is if the dog lives full time with one parent and the other might make a small financial contribution towards the keep of it. Otherwise I think getting a dog with shared responsibility after the relationship has ended is ridiculous and that's coming from someone with 5 dogs.

I do this with exh, the dog is totally fine! She goes with dc when they see exh. She actually knows the routine & knows when she is going and is perfectly settled in both homes!!

We split the insurance & any vets bills and each pay for food etc in our own homes.

@SunsetYorks

You’ve made this situation work for you, but would you have set out to share this responsibility with an ex AFTER you split up? Insane.

Big no from me!

Id end things. That's massively weird.

and that's just the start of it - when they go on holiday ? Guess who is left holding the dog??? Then she changes her mind about the dog and wants you to take it ? Tell them to get a hamster .

That's ridiculous. I could understand the child getting a dog and the dog going to the dads with the child whenever they're going. Does he go over to the house already to bring the child for a walk??? because if not it just sounds like a crazy idea!