Finding love as a single mum

[cocomelon27]

I'm currently going through a divorce and could do with positive stories on people finding love after divorce. I can't help but feel that because I have two young kids a lot of guys wouldn't want to date me.
I'm staying motivated by working out, saving money and spending time with my girls.
I just think when will I ever meet someone.
I've got a friend that met the love of her life soon after divorce with 3 kids I guess she's got lucky.
Guys please tell me positive stories to keep me motivated x

Hi

I think you will find it where you least expect it!
I separated in nov, have 50/50 care of ds, which includes every fri-sun, all my childfree nights are work nights, tried online dating because everyone said its the only way i'd meet someone. Hated it beyond belief & gave up completely.
Met my boyfriend at a soft play with his ds in may 😊 now much happier than i have been for years.

Good luck - there is definitely hope!

You're not even divorced yet! Why not focus on working on yourself and your relationship with your children rather than on some man?

I just love it when people turn up on a thread to judge rather than offer the advice the OP asks for

OP - I'm 2 years out, dating a year, not found a 'mr right' yet but had fun, some short term things which ...many were a bit of a tonic. Nothing serious yet. People have and do though.

I found love after a divorce as a single mum with 2 x young kids. It can 100% be done.

I took 3 years after the divorce to just enjoy being alone. I can honestly say that that time period working on myself, enjoying myself, learning what I want and more importantly did not want were critical to me finding a healthy, loving relationship. The rebound stage is a real thing, and I think you are best to navigate it whilst having a period of self growth and not try to lock yourself into anything too serious, too quickly just because you crave that familiarity of being a couple.

For the people judging and saying "you're not even divorced yet" - ignore them. I was on OLD sites within months of my split. They can be confidence boosting, and if nothing else they get you into the swing of chatting to men and flirting again. You do not need to meet anyone you don't want to & you don't owe the people you chat to, for however long, anything. I have no qualms in saying that I spent my 3 years of singledom enjoying myself, flirting, dating, built some lifelong memories with my friends and really spoiled my kids with love & attention. It was an incredibly happy time for me and my kids. When I met the guy I wanted to be with, I had to genuinely consider whether he was worth giving up my current setup for, and when I decided he was, I knew it was worthwhile pursuing.

Find what makes YOU happy and sod anything/anyone else. You would be amazed how quickly you adapt to your own little world with you and your babies and you don't really want anyone else to disturb that. Its healthy.

Both my DC are late 20's now and what I will tell you is that it is far easier integrating someone new when they are young. I do agree with the advice on not rushing in to anything etc. Absolutely. But if you want to be part of a couple at some point, I wouldn't wait until they are teens/young adults (As many would advise you to on here).

On every level, young DC are much more accepting of someone "new" coming into their lives. I have seen this both from my own perspective and couples I know where the woman was a single mum prior to them getting together. When mine were young they were happy enough with the explanation that "mummy's going out with her friend" and, if/when things get more serious, the kids aren't in that teenage/hormonal stage so there's no (or very little) conflict. There's also more privacy as they're off to bed early!

With teens it was a nightmare! He didn't like my style of parenting (something I've seen more than once in men coming into families with kids of that age, as it is a difficult age). They didn't like him, and they made it very obvious! We had no real privacy, and small bickers between me and him would then lead to my kids telling me he wasn't good enough for me etc. After a while I realised it just wasn't going to work and of course I chose my kids, and ended it with him. Now they're adults they worry even more! It's lucky I've decided to stay single now anyway.

I'm not someone who brought a string of men into their lives. There was one during their primary years and one during their high school years. But my point is I thought ok when they're older/adults I can date etc and it just never worked out that way. The one's I've seen that have worked have got together while the kids were still fairly young.