Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Recognising the patterns of men who kill women

2 replies

OrchidInTheSun · 28/08/2019 09:23

This is a really interesting study and demonstrates why the red flags that are mentioned on here time and again really are red flags

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49481998

OP posts:
Whatwaswrongwiththatusername · 28/08/2019 09:48

I came on here looking to see if anyone had already posted this before I did.
These steps are spoken about so much on here, the relationship board, but now having this research and a concise list really does emphasise that it really is very dangerous! The fact that the pattern was so closely followed (with the exception of #1, as explained) in these murders is something that really needs putting out there. This is really important information!
Seeing this list written down in this way makes me strongly believe that this should be 'taught' in schools. It literally could be a lifesaver one day!

Jaffacakesaremyfave · 28/08/2019 10:05

Thanks for that link @Orchid. I post alot about recognising narcissistic traits (e.g. The romance developing quickly into a serious relationship = lovebombing) and so many people jump on it saying "stop armchair diagnosing NPD" and that it's becoming "a sport" on MN.

The reality is that these people are out there and there is a distinct pattern abusive men follow. Alot of the traits listed as narcissistic traits fit into the patterns listed in your link and we need to move away from thinking these men "kill in a red mist of rage". It isn't true. Men who value power and control over human life (because they lack empathy and therefore are narcissists) are much more likely to kill and there are so many red flags that are apparent early on in the relationship.

I'm not saying one thing in isolation is enough to say someone is definitely a narcissist, but there are so many threads where several concerning traits are listed and it is a possibility (particularly coercive control) that the OP may want to consider so why jump on people who raise it.

I agree this should be taught in schools and everyone should learn the signs, even as adults. It could save so many lives and prevent so many women from entering into and staying in abusive relationships.

I think alot of people don't recognise the danger they are in for example when their ex is threatening suicide.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread