Is he lying to me? Please help...

[WorriedFemale87]

Around 3 months ago I was on my boyfriend's phone using the internet and I noticed his SnapChat was open, so I casually just asked why and he said he had been sending selfies to his nephew, so I was like ok no problem yet he made a huge deal of it and deleted SnapChat from his phone.

Recently he's been very up and down with work, so I became a bit suspicious and check his phone, I know it's bad - but I only did this because I caught him lying to me last year. I found his SnapChat "image" folder on his Galaxy S10 Android phone which showed lots of photos, and I was like ok no problem.

Here's what is really bugging me now. Having "deleted" the app from his phone I know the account as such won't be deleted properly but when he's with me I know he doesn't have it on his phone, so this morning feeling my gut was telling me something again I checked his image gallery for SnapChat whilst he was in the shower, again I know this is bad so please don't shoot me.

I found one of his best photos at the "latest" photo in that specific gallery with the date August 19th, 2019 and timestamped 3.30pm. This is a week last Monday.

Now, given he doesn't even have the app on his phone how on earth would that photo appear specifically in the SnapChat gallery on his photo's if he didn't use the app? Am I being taken for a fool and he's sending this to some other girl? It's 100% his best photo as well.

Any thoughts or advice, please? I feel if I ask him outright he may just lie.

He must be using it when not with you.

You’ve snooped his phone several times now and found nothing incriminating.

Why do you have a problem with him using snapchat?

Why are you with him if you don't trust him?

I couldn't be arsed doing all this snooping

I suggest you get snapchat yourself. start using it and casually suggest he starts again and add each other.

Maybe he is embarrassed at the selfies he takes ? some guys are. Unless you find topless, naked photos don't worry just yet.

If you don't trust him, you really need to stop and think about whether you should be with him. Life is too fucking short to spend it stressed and miserable, trying to police and catch out your partner.

Here's the background...

In November I caught him outright lying to me with a message from a girl that had been deleted, and because I try to see the best in people I forgot about it and worked on the relationship because I loved him.

Obviously, trust is "hard" to rebuild after that but when you think you have something special with someone you put the work in because humans are not perfect. I feel a little attacked given I had reason to doubt, and yes I did everything myself to try and help that doubt even though he was the one who originally lied to me. The only reason I checked was that he said he had deleted the app as he doesn't use it anyway, so yes finding that says to me he's not being honest.

Don't put "the work" in, it's not worth it. Been there.

Honestly - it’s difficult to work out if he deletes stuff because you snoop and go off on one, or if there’s genuinely something going on with him - even with your latest update, you still haven’t found anything incriminating.

Either way it sounds like an exhausting way to live, constantly snooping and trying to police your partners phone activity.

He’s using it when your not around. Just redownloading it

It sounds a bit dodgy tbh. There could be a number of reasons he is using the app but if he deletes it when he is with u and installs it and uses it when he is away, he is clearly hiding something. I would join snap chat and follow him (ure a couple, itd be standard for u to have him on there). I do think if theres nothing going on he wouldnt go through the hassle of installing /uninstalling. Maybe nothing serious is going on yet but it sounds like something could be brewing. Its not a great situation to be in if he is going to lie about it and keep secrets. I would be very concerned myself and of course youre going to end up being paranoid. I would keep an eye and confront him at some point. Thats not how to build trust.... wish i could say something to fix it....

How long have you been together?

Do you live together?
How long have you been together?
Are you tied financially?
This isn't worth it.
He's proved he is untrustworthy and is proving it all over again.
He's a dick. Time to move on from this one!

Maybe I’m dense but what’s the problem with him having snapchat? It doesn’t mean an affair

Ok just read the backstory- even if he’s not cheating now it sounds like you don’t trust him (for good reason) is the stress of all this worth it?

What do you want from this relationship long term, if its a forever deal, don't you want the default to be (in any uncertain looking situations) "I'll ask him what that's about later" and know that when you do, there is no need to question the answer? I couldn't be with someone long term that kept me feeling like I needed to reassure myself constantly. It'd be exhausting. Either be direct and trust the answer when you get one, or decide you can't trust him and go from there. There is no answer to your question that complete strangers can give that will give you peace of mind, it has to come from your own thought process

Maybe he gets it and deletes it again when your together, snapchat doesn’t store conversations does it? Once you’ve opened it and closed it you can’t go back. I think it’s a bit dodgy but unless you’ve got something hardcore on him your just going to cause arguments