Feel like I am in hell

[MozzchopsThirty]

Don't know where to start
Don't know if it's him or me
Don't know if I'm going crazy
I really don't feel well and I don't know who to talk to or where to turn

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Can you say more about what has happened and we can hopefully advise what to do?

Confide in a rl friend
Vent on here
Write down all the things/reasons you are feeling so unhappy
If you can do so, have a period of time away from your partner
Thinking of you op.

Just start with something that happened. What did you do over the weekend?

What's happened OP?

I've never felt this bad in my life, it's scaring me

I feel like I'm losing my grip on my sanity and reality

I'm permanently worried my relationship is over although there's no real evidence to support this
My boyf thinks I'm being 'crazy' so I haven't said any more to him

My kids have gone to their GPs tonight

I just don't want to feel like this anymore

I'm paranoid
Upset
Tearful
Feel sick
Have had a headache for 3 days
And I feel so alone
And I don't want it to go on

So what’s happening - what little things are worrying you?

Maybe your intuition is right, maybe it isn’t. Can you outline your fears?

Is this a new feeling or do you already experience mental health illness?

Given how poorly you're feeling, I'd ask for an urgent GP appointment tomorrow.

I'm just sat with tears streaming down my face

He went on holiday with his dcs and everything was fine, he phoned, text, sent pics.
But since he came back I've been increasingly anxious

I honestly can't say much more because in my head little things like not calling me by my pet name on texts etc have become massive. He's still making time to see me, last night he was talking about a holiday we have planned and about booking another

I have PTSD and have always had issues when partners go away which stems from my parents who sent me on a school trip to France when I was 9 and when I got back they announced they were getting divorced which was unexpected and a shock

You definitely need to get yourself an urgent GP appointment. Please call them tomorrow morning and don't minimise how you are feeling. You need some help from a properly trained medic. Especially if you have ptsd.

If you come up against any barrier to an appointment (which you won't if you say what you have here) .. then get yourself to A&E and they will call the psych team to get you some real help.

So I am going mad?

You're not going mad, you're very anxious.

Try and go for a walk, talk to a friend, focus on something else.

I get a little bit like this sometimes and it's horrible but it passes and it will for you too.

I have calmed down a bit and made some lunch for tomorrow which felt like a huge achievement
Still very tearful and don't know why

Bless you you need to see a GP urgently. Sounds like you’re suffering with severe anxiety. We can talk as much as you need if it helps.

Mozz, he stayed in touch frequently while on holiday. On returning, he wanted to see you. He is discussing future trips. It sounds like everything is okay.

This situation is not the same as the one with your parents.

To help calm yourself, I would take some deep breaths, hold them, and slowly exhale. Can you do some exercise to get some endorphins flowing?

@Holymoly0 thank you so much you made me cry a bit

I have my ups and downs like everyone but this has been extreme
I couldn't breathe at a party on the weekend it was awful

I was exercising daily and fasting and felt great but fell massively off the wagon this weekend and have drank and eaten to excess
I plan on going back tomorrow and doing a spin class

I've tried to remind myself that he's stressed with work, his kids and has the holiday blues
He's still taken the time to phone me twice today

You could call the Samaritans.

I have felt like this many times. I have PTSD after being in two very abusive relationships and it has left me with severe anxiety, especially when it comes to relationships. I convinced myself over the weekend that my current partner was finishing with me, was seeing someone else, was lying to me. All totally without any sort of basis. I just couldn't stop my head racing or calm my thoughts down. By yesterday I was fine. I would seco d advice you have been given above, gp visit, counselling, exercise and talk it through with someone you trust. I find writing helps me, kist getting my thoughts down in paper and reading them ack can sometimes help rationalise them.

If he’s taken the time to call you then he definitely cares. Especially if he’s planning holidays with you. But please do make the appointment to see a gp, I’ve suffered with anxiety it’s awful, so I do feel for you x