Mental health?

[NameChanje]

I wasn't sure whether to post this on here or mental health but I really need some support. I made a thread a few weeks back which I got some support with and some pointers in the right direction.

Fast forward to now I'm getting worse daily. My anger and moods are out of control. My poor DP. I called the crisis line over a week ago and they agreed I have a serious problem and to ask my GP to refer me to the primary mental health team. My GP did this immediately thankfully. I should get an appointment through within the next few weeks. I am trying to manage best I can but I'm pushing my DP away understandably. When I'm in my right mind I'm so disappointed in myself. Full of self loathing and misery. I tried to leave and he wants me to stay. He wants to help me. Unfortunately I'm so specific in my needs that when he doesn't get it right I lose the plot.

I'm abusive and nasty towards him but when I'm like that I can't seem to control myself. My mind goes empty.

I'm a professional person and horrified at my behaviour. I just need to get through to when I have my assessment. Please no horrible comments

Nowhere I can go until Friday/Saturday. I just tried to go to the shop and an argument ensued. He keeps telling me to take responsibility which I feel I have. I've said he's not helping me and that I'm going to have space for a few days at least. He said he wants it sorting out first and I can't leave it like this. I said what if I sort it out first and he said it depends if I'm happy with what you've done?!

I've begged him for days for love and affection at the times when I'm calmer to help prevent my anger and now he's saying I have to sort it out. I'm beside myself. This is so lonely

OP, he is part of the problem not the solution.

Ive been here, :-( I begged my gp for anti psychotics, she agreed to give them to me, but asked me to think about why I would want to spend time with someone who triggers me.

This was a decade ago, today I do not take medication and rarely feel anger. I found my answers in learning about personal boundaries (emotional, financial etc etc) then "acting as if" until the boundaries felt right on an emotional level.

The website Out of the fog has literally saved my life as I too was a really independant person but due to upbringing become a people pleasing rescuer who felt responsible for others emotional state. you can solve this op.