Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm stuck

7 replies

joancassied · 27/08/2019 11:24

Hi
I'm in a marriage that no longer works. We bicker all the time and it is emotionally abusive. My husband doesn't prioritise me and our children and drinks excessively a number of times a week. My children are getting older and I just want out now and to raise them in a healthier environment. I'm miserable with my husband and the atmosphere is so much happier when he's not around. He brings out a side to me I just don't like. The problem is we jointly own a house and he refuses to sell it. He knows that if we sell I'll have the money to leave him. I have no friends or family with space to take us in, and as a home owner I know the council will not help me. We are staying with my father in law at the moment as we were in the process of selling ours (outgrown it) but now he won't sign the sale papers. I can't move back either because he will just follow me then I am completely back to square one. I know I will struggle with renting privately because I have enquired about several properties and they either say the landlords won't accept someone on universal credit (which I will claim once I am away from him to top up my part time income) Or they simply say i don't earn enough to rent the property. I just don't know where to turn. Does anyone have any advice to give me? I did call citizens advice but the person on the phone seemed to know nothing so I am going to make a face to face appointment but I'd be grateful for any advice anyone can give me on here. It is just becoming unbearable at home. Hes actually made me hate him and I just don't want to bring my kids up around this, they deserve so much better. Thank you

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 27/08/2019 11:29

If you are in the UK and you get divorced, then there will be a financial settlement and you will get a share of the overall assets that you both have, which includes the house.

So why not cut to the chase and just divorce him. It doesn't sound as though there is a future to the relationship.

RandomMess · 27/08/2019 11:30

Speak to Woman's Aid.

joancassied · 27/08/2019 11:36

@MargoLovebutter divorce is where I want to get to but it's where do my children and I stay in the mean time? I need to leave him and then get the ball rolling with the divorce to make him sell the house. If we are under the same roof he make life even worse for me

@RandomMess will they be able to help? I have gone to call them a few times and then hang up because I feel like because I'm not in a physically violent relationship (though it has been in the past) that they are there for people in worse situation than me. If that's makes sense.

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 27/08/2019 11:38

This is financial abuse by your H though @joancassied. Women's Aid should be able to give you advice.

joancassied · 27/08/2019 11:41

I suppose I didn't really think of it that way. I shall give them a call then. Thank you

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/08/2019 11:43

You said he is emotionally abusing you and he is also financially abusing you, that's abuse!!

joancassied · 27/08/2019 11:49

@RandomMess yes I know you are right. I guess I just imagine it make for women being battered and abused. I will call them for their advice also. Thank you

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread