How to get this rolling without Giving Ex Control

[scotgal2017]

Background: been separated just over 2 years, STBXH left after 17 years of marriage (20 year relationship). He was abusive/controlling and left when head turned by OW. 2 DCs, DS12 has just expressed he does not want to see his dad anymore which was going to be addressed by me after a visit to women's aid/after a 2 week holiday abroad from next week.

STBXH has sent message tonight saying he "supposes it's time to sort divorce and supposes he should get it started as he initially wanted it". He asked in message if I wanted solicitors involved ot sort it ourselves. I am Grey rock with him due to the abuse etc and so want everything done through sols, messaged him this as a reply. He said he would need details, I said they can send correspondence to my dad's address. His reply was no, they need to send it direct to my sols.

I want to be in control of this from my side the off as he will try and control everything...... I had a 30 minute visit with my sol this time last year and that's it, so not sure if he is correct? Surely his sol can send letters to my dad's address, then I can go to my sols with it??

TIA for advice

Oh and if it makes a difference would be a divorce in Scotland. TIA

Bump

Sorry, no advice, but bumping for you. Also possibly try in Legal?

I’d let him address everything via the solicitor. It makes no sense to involve your dad’s address really.

He doesn't need your address. Everything is dealt with through the solicitors. You go into their offices to sign stuff and the court documents come from the court through the post to your address.

Thanks for the replies, I popped by my solicitor and they said to get him to send stuff from his sols direct to mine. I've given him the details now. I've a few of things that are probably going to stall it being finalised, he seems to think it's going to be straightforward.....

Make sure you have a good family solicitor who understands domestic abuse.
Do not allow him to deal directly with you, even if cheaper!! My ex husband was a totally controlling prick im so very grateful I had a good solicitor. It takes the power and control away and allows you to proceed in a business like mannor. Which is what you need to get through the practicalities of sorting out a divorce. Good luck, I'm very happy to be divorced xx