Coping with rejection

[datingheartache]

Hi all, I'm hoping for some advice. I've been single for 2 years and I'm ready to get back out in the dating world after being in a relationship (married, 1 child) for 7 years. I've started online dating and it's brutal. When I go on dates I am terribly nervous and talk too much. I feel like I am cheating even though I have been divorced for a year. When I am rejected even if it's after one date it hurts so much and I can't help but dwell on it. I worry about what I said, what's wrong with me etc etc? This is even if I'm not sure I liked them! You can't exactly ask for feedback! I also dwell on the.. are they going to message back. This is ridiculous because I do have my shit together otherwise... house, good job, exercise regularly nice friends and family. All this makes me avoid going on dates. Any advice on how to deal with these emotions?

Sounds like you're not ready to start dating. Why don't you wait a little longer before you try?

You are probably right but it's been 2 years. I'm just quite lonely. Being a single parent is tough. My friends are quite spread out and I moved to a new area when I separated and it's been slow going making local friends. I work all week and my local friends are generally having family time on a weekend. Just a bit worried I will always deal with the rejection so badly or end up settling for the wrong guy.

Hi, I've just joined so I can reply to your post, I just wanted to say I hear you, this is my second stint at being a single mum I had 5 years of it when my daughter was little after I split from her dad and this time around she's now at college I've had 3 years of it so far it is hard and it's not fair but unfortunately it is something some of us have to go through, the payoff for all these years of being single will hopefully be a partner who thinks the world of you sometime in your future.. you've got to keep believing he's out there, looking for you! If you're meeting men in real life, online dating and open to being matchmaked or set up on dates there's really not a lot more you can do to find him, so just keep smiling at men online and in your day to day life and seeing where it leads, and try not to get too attached in the early stages, wait until he's shown you who he really is first and if he really is a suitable new partner for you. Good luck and let's keep each other posted!

Thank you stillsexystillsingle for your lovely message. It really picked me up. I hope you find someone too.

Thanks datingheartache ! I'm now in my forties and I'm so ready to meet someone good after all the bs I've been through with different men over the years since I first started dating in my teens. It's amazing how it all just falls into place so easily for some people but for others finding a genuinely loving partner is so difficult. I think you've just got to keep believing that your man is out there though, and you will find him eventually!

You are ready! It's something that takes time. I remember feeling exactly the same as you at the beginning. Nobody likes rejection or rejecting. I now try and have a mindset of, it's just meeting new people. We don't all click with everyone. It's like our friends, they're pur friends because they're our kinda people. We just jel with them....same with dating. We always take rejections as a reflection upon is, but its really quite the opposite. Don't over think it.
Rejection is a re-direction!
The more you date, the more you will not over think it!
Try and enjoy it!

That's internet dating for you in my experience you have to be emotionally tough. Maybe you should try to meet someone through hobbies etc