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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

why is he being like this

49 replies

Elaine17 · 26/08/2019 18:08

Ok before anyone replies I know that i will get some back lash for this but here goes.
I'm separated and have been seeing a married man. Heres my dilemma. he started this and told me he really liked me, stupid things like if i was cold he would put his arm round me to keep me warm, make me laugh, went on a staff do together, had a good laugh, then gave me a hug and peck on the cheek for xmas. Things went on from there where he gave me his phone number and told me he liked me, we went from good friends to hugging, kissing and heavy foreplay but never went any further as much as we want each other so much. We went away with our OHs, and text each other every day, how much we missed each other. THEN over a day or so, he went from sexting to. Its going to fast and wants to slow things down, but doesn't want to end it. Now i rarely get a reply from any messages. I'm feeling used and not good enough, especially when the things he said to me i thought he meant, like hes fallen for me, wants and needs me so much. I have falllen for him, and now I'm hurting like hell as i feel that ive been thrown out with the trash

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 26/08/2019 18:13

He sees someone with morals as loose as his. And that's not attractive.

Original poster
Elaine17 · 26/08/2019 18:13

What do you mean

OP posts:
sackrifice · 26/08/2019 18:14

We went away with our OHs

huh?

NameChangeNugget · 26/08/2019 18:15

You are probably one of many he has on the go. He’s bored of you

CloudyWithAChance2 · 26/08/2019 18:15

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Hopoindown31 · 26/08/2019 18:15

His wife is suspicious. Classic cheater.

OnlineAlienator · 26/08/2019 18:15

You are being used. I've been there. Attack Tinder with an open mind!

NoBaggyPants · 26/08/2019 18:15

Where are your thoughts for his wife in your little melodrama?

saffy1234 · 26/08/2019 18:17

She means your morals are lose.Which is true.
Also went away with our OH?!I thought you were separated?
Do you want sympathy on here because to be honest you made your bed now lie in it.His wife is most probably suspicious.

saffy1234 · 26/08/2019 18:18

Loose* damn autocorrect

MashedSpud · 26/08/2019 18:19

He sexted with you. You’re ticked off the list now and he’s working on other women.
If his wife finds out he will say “But darling, we didn’t have sex”.

Have some respect for yourself and don’t fall for lying married men.

DerbyshireGirly · 26/08/2019 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Greenteas · 26/08/2019 18:28

He could also be scared and having a freak out about his feelings.
This is what happened with my partner when we first met and he was unhappily but now we are together and happy.
I guess you need to go with your gut feeling

Ilikethisone · 26/08/2019 18:30

You are separated but when away with your OH?

What's going on with him, is that his is fucking married. Not rocket science, is it?

He had some fun, had he ego stroked, proved he could still pick a up a woman if he wanted. Now he realises its gonna too car and what he is risking. So he fucking you.

I dont think you are a totally horrible person. But you decemded to get involved and knew the risks.

It's kind of just tough. Pick yourself up and get on with it.

Greenteas · 26/08/2019 18:30

*he was unhappily married - that was supposed to say Smile

NeatFreakMama · 26/08/2019 18:34

Step away from it whilst the hurt is where it is.

What's your best case scenario? He breaks up his own family and you get to be in a relationship with "man" who you know is a liar and a cheat.

Stop it now and find someone who's decent and also maybe think more about the other people you're so willing to hurt for your own desire...it's not something to be proud of.

Chlosavxox · 26/08/2019 18:41

Probably starting to realise what a tramp he is and is starting to feel guilty that he’s cheating on his wife 🤷🏼‍♀️ either that or he’s had a close call and is worried about getting caught again

luanmapo · 26/08/2019 18:53

Get some bloody respect Woman and find yourself a free and single Man!

I detest the way some Women In the workplace throw themselves at Men. You do realise you’re only stroking his ego don’t you?!

And yes I am angry from bitter experience with my DH.

crappyday2018 · 26/08/2019 18:55

You say you're separated but talk about going away with OH. That means you are either not separated, or you were with someone when this started! That aside, he has used you and is no longer interested. He may have suddenly got cold feet and clearly has NO intention of leaving his wife. Find someone single.

loveyoutothemoon · 26/08/2019 19:02

Always starts at the office party doesn't it Grin

You won't find ANY sympathy here, this board is full of posts from people suspecting their partners of affairs!

EllenRipley · 26/08/2019 19:22

🤔Let me see if I've got this right - you're surprised & confused that a guy who cheats on and lies to his wife, who clearly has little to no respect for women, is treating you like shit?

Hopefully your lightbulb moment isn't too far away. Sort yourself out, OP.

howdyalikemenow · 26/08/2019 20:08

Oh dear. This isn't going to end well is it?

tisamadworld · 26/08/2019 20:48

This is the problem with relationships involved in deceit and deception, you don't know how genuine the person is being with you. You get the pleasure you want but often pay for it with pain and tears.

SignedUpJust4This · 26/08/2019 22:09

Wow. You mean the man that is cheating on his WIFE is not trustworthy?! Shock

maximumcarnage · 26/08/2019 22:18

The reason you feel used and comparisons to trash is because, and you may want Tim sit down for this revelation, that’s exactly what happened. You were his play thing, but on the side, designated ego stroker.

Muster what little self respect and common decency you can. Cut all contact. Find yourself a man who will keep your bed warm and only your bed warm. And unless you need me to spell it out. I mean a single man. One who doesn’t cheat. Who doesn’t abuse women and is actually a decent human being.