Advice on jealousy please!

[LuckyNumberNone]

I feel jealous. Or something similar. I don't want to. Really don't want to. Not a nice place to be at all.

It's over very small things. But in my head they aren't small things at all. Haven't discussed them with OH as I wouldn't know where to begin and worried about the consequence of the conversation. Me sounding like a control freak or worse

Over a few years these things
1.Wknd away with friends without me, came home with a new friend on fb popping up liking all their photos. The wknd away was other end of the country. I cant get my head around how you end up adding someone as a friend on fb. Complete stranger. No mutual friends. To me it's similar to swapping phone numbers. Why would you do that with a stranger unless you had intentions of seeing or speaking to them again.

1. Night out together. OH was annoyed at me so went off for about an hour, left me sat on my own. Later, we're dancing/cuddling. I see them in a mirror talking to someone else over my shoulder motioning to go and dance with them. Obviously I asked who that was, "just someone I got talking to earlier on and was telling them how annoyed I was at you so they were saying I should dance with them instead".
2. Another night out, dancing with and cuddling someone on the dance floor.
3. Someone at work had been helping them a lot. I'd heard a lot about it and was supportive obviously as this was a massive help to my OH. I literally had heard about every convo and phone call they'd had because it was such a big help. Then whilst showing me some work stuff, an email appeared showing they'd also been to lunch a few times. That def hadn't been mentioned. I didn't make a deal out of it as there is nothing to make a deal out of.
4. I know of a least 1 colleague at work who sends messages starting with things like "morning gorgeous" I did ask about that one but was told it was nothing.

All of these things are nothing really. I know that. So why does it make me feel so bad. I want to talk to them about it but can't see it going well. I don't want the relationship to end but neither do i want to carry on feeling like this. I certainly don't want to be controlling either and stop them from doing anything.
Does anyone understand how I feel? At all?

These are making you feel bad and jealous because they are undermining you. Your feelings are not the only problem here, they wouldn't exist without his behaviour.

You do need to find a way to talk to him, but the best way might be to talk to a counselor first. Get another perspective and work out what you want to say. Practice it, and practice some of the responses you might get.

Thank you. I have considered talking to a counsellor, maybe a should actually do it.

I worried that the conversation will end up with "fine I'll never go out then if that's what you want, and never talk to anyone"
Which obviously isn't what I want at all.

Hi just wanted to let you know I understand as come from a long line of overreacting and jeolous woman!
1.2.3.4.and 5. would all have me questioning my oh? I think your understandably feeling jeolous over those situations but I'm obviously not best to advise because I would be on the same boat and find your jeolousy normal?

jealous!

I find it odd him cuddling someone else, the messages too sound weird. I think you both need to talk about boundaries. it doesn't matter what people on mumsnet find okay in their relationships. You need to think about what you want and find acceptable and have an adult conversation :)

best of luck x

I would just tell him he's not giving a shit how would he like it the other way round?
I would be really annoyed and I don't think I could see him he's rubbing Yr nose in it!
I'd be so tempted to try something on him he sounds awful!

No wonder you're feeling jealous. You are definitely not a control freak. This behaviour is inappropriate & it's a few instances combined, not an isolated error.

Your girlfriend is doing this on purpose. All those little things combined add up.

Yep she is out of order and purposely making you jealous...she's either insecure or just a dick. Don't see where you can go with this id end it.