DH wanting divorce.. what next ...

[LastMinuteMolly]

We've been arguing a bit lately but on the whole, seem to sort things out and get on well. We've had cross words this morning and 'D'H has told me he wants a divorce as we clearly aren't working. We've been married 6 years, have a 4 year old and own a house. Where do I start?

I'm currently sitting in my DP bathroom crying because I came to get out the house but can't face telling them - they're quite elderly and it will worry them far too much.

Just feel like a total failure, I've just realised I haven't booked DD onto the holiday club tomorrow and now it's full so currently have no childcare and I have a meeting at work at 8.

I'm aware this is a total pity me post but I don't even know where to begin. DH must be laughing at home knowing I can't afford the mortgage by myself because I'm part time around DD, I can't afford the finance payments on our car so he'll get that. I'm basically clueless .. how am I meant to provide for my daughter by myself?

Breathe. Email work and tell them you’re sick, whatever you need to.

Return home. He can’t sell it from under you. Start gathering the documents you need. Mortgage accounts. Joint bank accounts. Move half of any savings if you can so he can’t spend it arbitrarily.

I’m in a different country so can’t advise more than that. Just act as if he really meant what he said and protect yourself as much as you can.

Oh this is awful. I agree that treat his word as the truth even if he comes back and says it was a mistake. Have you equity in your home so that you could both sell and that might allow u you to buy a flat or smaller home. Or commute? Just awful for you xx

Where do I start?

Let him start it - why should you do all the organising. I would suggest trying to get a little bit of legal advise for yourself so that you know what your rights are but other than that, tell him to crack on with it!

Get on "entitled to" or similar website and see if you are able to get universal credit as a single parent. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the government contributes far more to my children's living expenses than my ex husband ever did, even child maintenance he pays goes further than his previous contributions to the household now I don't have a freeloading fat man eating the equivalent of the rest of us put together to feed!! Also without said fat freeloader no longer falling asleep in front of Premium Sky package every night with all the lights on, my electric and tv costs are much lower.
Every cloud has a silver lining, just sometimes it's a very thin lining!!

Protect yourself. Even if he changes his mind, he has said it and it is in the air. Start saving as much as you can in a secret account. Be prepared for him to leave at any time.

Prepare for OW to appear.

How long has this 'lately' arguing been happening? That is when he got involved with her.

So sorry for your hurt and bewilderment, its awful when you get abandoned and don't really know why. Its not you, its him.