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Relationships

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And this is why I am a semi hermit

7 replies

PookieDo · 26/08/2019 10:04

I am long term single parent and not actively looking for anyone. No OLD and don’t really go out very much socially or date. If I was to meet someone I really think I would just want a FWB and nothing serious for the plain and simple reason I just don’t want to have to deal with and manage anyone else’s emotions anymore. Selfish, maybe. Don’t care. I do miss sex sometimes but I don’t feel great about myself physically of late and know I need to lose some weight

I have started going out with a different friendship group recently and although it is fun, socialising with men makes me feel a bit rubbish afterwards.

One guy in the group is a bit of a twat but surprise surprise, I am quite physically attracted to him (I have a long relationship history of absolute twats who I find attractive). I’ve never done anything about this attraction, never would and I am not sure anyone is aware of it (naive I am sure) and I don’t think he fancies me anyway

One of the other guys in the group is also single and has made a bit of a move by asking my friend for my number and has text me a few times. He seems nice. But I don’t really fancy him that much because I think he’s more of an emotional investor type rather than a FWB. This is about me, not him, he’s done nothing wrong

AIBU to just to back to hibernating indoors where there are no men. I sound like a spoilt brat when I say this, as I am aware other people would love to meet a partner but I have really shut down all my emotions when it comes to this type of thing and in avoidance mode.

Sorry for rambling on!

With my weight, this is part of the emotions thing. I miss feeling sexy and attractive sometimes but I find it dangerous, so gaining weight is like a security wall that no one ever tries to climb...

Am I a complete weirdo?

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 26/08/2019 14:07

I don't think you're a weirdo to be jaded about relationships/men.

But also there is something between attractive twats and emotional guys who are into you. Just takes time to find a good match.

On the weight front, people I know like hiking groups ; lost weight and good social aspect and good for mental health.

JacquesHammer · 26/08/2019 14:20

Selfish, maybe

This jumped out at me. Why do you think you’re being selfish to not want a relationship?

DontCallMeShitley · 26/08/2019 14:48

I was much happier without a relationship.
Choose what makes you happy.

cubed123 · 26/08/2019 14:54

Do what makes you happy and comfortable not what society expects of you. Of course you’re not a weirdo, we all come in different forms, shapes, likes, dislikes etc etc

PookieDo · 27/08/2019 12:54

No I think I’m selfish in what I would be able to offer someone - just FWB. Also should I really start something up with someone when I clearly fancy his friend more to begin with? Feels a bit weird

He has asked me out for lunch. He is keen.

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 27/08/2019 14:09

Twat man doesn't fancy you so why is it an issue? The other does but you don't, so what's the issue?
You're not obliged to consider either of these men as suitable bf/fwb....

I'm really not sure what you are asking. Forget both maybe and find a twat who fancies you for a fwb?

JacquesHammer · 27/08/2019 14:33

No I think I’m selfish in what I would be able to offer someone - just FWB

That’s not selfish if they’re happy with that arrangement. It’s not selfish if they’re not, it just means you’re not compatible.

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