Had road car accident with children help

[Tinkery1]

I had a road accident last week. The car completely lost control when I broke it flipped 360 and went into a hedge. Thank God kids at the back weren't hurt
Eldest only had a seatbelt scratch. My youngest is 21 months old
It was so horrible and it's been a week since. I've been in hospital
I wasnt so lucky I have an open fracture - my whole elbow bone is shattered and a big hole there. The skin had degloved. I went through to A&E and had two debridements so far in a week- where I was put under to clean the wound as it was full of glass and gravel. I'm in a sling and my arm.feels numb tbh
The worse thing, the worse pain is not being able to see my baby. Shes onlyn21 months. And it's so difficult I'm.always with the kids and were very close. She has been coming to see me.in hospital but its not the same shes running around she seems quite distressed I cant pick her up and play with her and its oure torture

My surgery is on Wednesday where they are gonna fix the fracture with wires or a PLATE AND then plastic surgery to cover hole so they need a flap of skin with blood supply
It really is horrendous and now my MH is failing as I cant cope..I'm so upset being away from my baby
The surgery will be 8 hours I'm.so scared I've tried googling this and cant find nothing does anyone know to cope? Any anecdotes? Has anyone had a similar injury and have a young child? How to cope? Thanks

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do you have support in real life, family around you to help with the children?

I know it is awful right now but just get through one day at a time. In a few weeks your baby won't even remember this.

I’m so sorry you have been through this. It sounds really traumatic and I am not surprised you are feeling this way. Is there anyone in RL who can support you? Do you have friends and family who can help at all, give any reassurance that I am sure DC are fine they may just be confused about what is going on right now.

I think things will feel different when you are at home and you can be closer to them, you need to focus on the next steps to going home but it may take some time

What about reading stories to her? Or playing non physical games where you can be close to each other. Like toddler puzzle games or that one where you pick the fish up with little rods. Maybe you could ask someone to bring some home bits into hospital so your visits will feel more familiar for her with some games and stories?

So sorry this happened to you... you must be quite traumatised & in shock right now. You will get through this nightmare...degloving & open break, that must be so painful. Hope the operation goes smoothly & you're able to get some rest, it will all work out. Are you able to request a sedative or something to help you get some relief & sleep? Take all the pain meds they offer as this is the situation they were invented for. Your mind will see things differently in a few days once the shock has worn off & you're able to go home & settle. All the best xo

Not to be blunt /harsh op but..
YOU ARE ALL ALIVE!!
Please take massive comfort in that!

Not an accident but I can relate. When my lg was 4 months I had to go into hospital for a week for very intense hip surgery. It was too far for them to even visit. We skyped everyday but it's so distressing (more for me than her). Once I was home I was on crutches for 6 months so couldn't do half the stuff a normal mum would. I know it's hard, but you will absolutely get through it. The biggest benefit to the whole situation is the wonderful relationship my lg has with her daddy. They spent so much intense time together, so young, that they have the most amazing bond. 5 years on and it's so special to see (plus if she wakes in the night, her go to is daddy)

Not an accident but I ended up in a similar situation. I had a ruptured appendix, however my surgery site became infected and I was left with a large open wound, the wound cover being used meant I couldn’t sit, stand or do any form of weight bearing, the estimated recovery time was 6 weeks.

My son had only been living with me three weeks (adopted) and he had just turned two. So while yes it was shit, he was fine.

Have you spoken to anyone in the hospital about how this is making you feel? They do have teams who can help.

@elf1985 omg elf this response has helped me1 more than you know thank you so much

Thanks to everyone I'm so emotional.

Any other tips how to heal when trying to look after toddler?

Anyone ever had an open fracture I'm so clueless I'm.still in shock and I keep crying all the time.i hate this

I think I'm.gonna have to stop acting ok.infront of docs and nurses and putting a brave face on and just let it out I just worry for the future..what is surgery goes wrong or what if it gray worse I'm.trying so hard I'm.doing everything with my left hand iv changed her nappies played with her but dont feel its enough because she wants to be held and songs

I'm dreading it my dh has to go back to work soon I'm.not sure what to do

You are so welcome. It is shit, there's no getting around that. And you will need help for a while, but kids learn really quickly how you need to adapt. You'll get through it and it will be a distant memory before you even realise it. Good luck with the surgery xx

Definately speak to the hospital staff, they will be able to explain everything to expect once you've had surgery

(As an aside, do you realise your username has white supremacy / neo nazi connotations?)

Hope the surgery goes well, focus on the things you can do together.

As a side note... not the obvious choice of username..a racist, homophobic xenophobic monster responsible for the torture and death of millions.

@Hitler88 your poor poor lady!! Not only have you been separated from your babies after an extremely traumatic experience when you really want to be with them 24/7 to make sure they are OK, you also have intense pain and hospital experience to deal with!!! You would have to be Superwoman x a million to not be affected by it!

Please please don't try to put a brave face on it - do let the medics know how you're feeling. You will be suffering from some form of post traumatic stress anyway never mind pre-operation stress and side effects from all the drugs they will have to pump into you.

As far as your children go, just keep hugging them and telling them you love them but need their help. Even the littlest one can bring mummy a glass of water!! They will LOVE that - trust me . Maybe they could play doctor too? Have they a toy medical kit?

My daughter was really ill last year (in PICU) and we were automatically offered sessions with psychologist attached to the ward (no waiting time).

This was all NHS, but I realise services vary depending on where you are - if I were you I would ask if you can access similar, it really helps with the post trauma mental health stuff.

Hope the op goes well ❤️

Please ignore the name. I'm using just my left hand signed up to HATter and dont know why its changed it to hitler88 autorepsonse thanks so much everybody
Really helping
I know the NHS is in trouble and it really worries me.i can see how all the nurses and doctors seem.rushed off their feet . Does anyone know if anyone with.open fractures success rates etc risks

@Tinkery1

Please ignore the name. I'm using just my left hand signed up to HATter and dont know why its changed it to hitler88 autorepsonse thanks so much everybody Really helping

We've retrospectively changed your username now so all of your posts are showing under your Tinkery1 name.

Sending good wishes.

H

Cant seem.to change my username I did tinkery and it keeps going back to this. Please help thanks