How to teach children empathy when your DH is totally lacking in it...

[Abracad]

There is obviously a wider story. But on this point, DH does not do empathy/ concern when someone is ill/ reassurance when he can ignore or make a quip. I don’t think I can do anything about that. He’s a 50 year old man.
However, DS (7) is now starting to develop these behaviours too. It isn’t my way and it isn’t how I want to raise my son. How can I counter this and teach ds to be... better.

By your example. Talking to him about how others might be feeling. Perhaps giving him a chance to do things for others that make him feel good about himself. Looking at animals and wild life and discussing what they must be feeling.

My ex is this same, but he's also emotionally unstable and unprodictable. He cries a lot and also falls out with people a lot my kids are really young but still notice it.
Hr also shows little empathy (unless it serves himself) it's hard but I encourage my kids to be kind to always look after the child that's alone in the play ground and to think about their actions and how it effects other's. It also helps that he doesn't see them that often so I can counteract that behaviour. How often does your child see him?

Your dh sounds perfect to face old age and illness with.

I have three children 23, 21 and 19. The eldest has the same level of empathy as their father ie none whilst the youngest two are much more aware of how other people feel and how their actions affect others. The eldest is not horrendous, he just doesn't offer anything 'extra' ie give me a hug when I'm upset about something - I have to ask for a hug whilst the younger two will offer it instinctively. They haven't been brought up any differently, they are just different!

All you can do is try to show your son how his actions affect others - (you may have to try lots of different ways of doing this) whilst carrying on showing him through your own actions.

Some interesting responses. Thank you. I think (hope) that is what I am doing, but I will consider ways to make it more explicit.

@category12 - I’m assuming you were being ironic...