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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend acted like a complete arse on holiday

49 replies

lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 20:04

I have just got back from a long weekend with a friend who I've known about a year. I don't know what happened! At home she'd seemed very nice, she had a bit of a tendency to find things to complain about but not to the point it was excessive.
I was really looking forward to this holiday but the first evening, as soon as I got there, we went out for dinner she was being absolutely obnoxious. Everything I said, she seemed to try and argue with or put down. Examples would be I'd said I was looking forward to seeing the boats in the harbour, she said "I hate boats," (but then went on a boat trip by herself when she went awol the next day. I said I was looking forward to my visit to a car museum in Monaco when I'm near there for a wedding a couple of months and she said "I absolutely hate Monaco," I said I wanted to learn to do something and she said "I've never had any interest in doing that whatsoever." Everywhere I said I'd love to go she said she'd been and hated, everything I said I liked she said she disliked. She made a lot of personal criticisms, like of my choices in men and kept saying I attract arseholes and she knows loads of absolutely lovely single men (she hasn't managed to find a partner though, even though she wants one!) She was talking rubbish because I've had one EA marriage and I'd mentioned a friend was struggling because of a death in the family and I was worried about her, so she started telling me I attract crazy people.
She complained and ranted about things non stop - even a 10 minute angry outburst about hating the fact they put 4 pillows on the bed in the hotel and how she'd left a ratty note for the housekeeping staff to tell them to stop putting them there! She endlessly found fault with the hotel (it was lovely!) which is chosen - nothing was good enough.
She acted really haughty and got annoyed when they didn't have a table available with no notice at a restaurant with a €150 set menu (without asking me if the price was ok). By complete coincidence some people I knew were staying in the same hotel. When I waved and they came to say hello she was giving them dirty looks and didn't say much to them.
Luckily I don't mind being on my own because she completely vanished on me every day (that was fine with me and I avoided her for most of the trip anyway - fortunately we had separate rooms).
I suppose my question is what on earth happened?!! And how did I miss what she was like? I've spent a whole day at a time with her before and she seemed fine. Yet she was rude to me, rude about my friends and parents, complained incessantly and just couldn't seem to enjoy anything. I think the only thing I could have picked up on was she didn't seem to have any other friends (but it's not fair to judge people for that). Needless to say I won't be seeing her again but I'm feeling a bit stupid now as I question whether I just have awful judgment in people! Can anyone tell me if they've ever had an experience where they've been on holiday with someone who had unexpectedly behaved like an absolute prat?!

OP posts:
FloatingObject · 25/08/2019 20:15

Ditch her. She sounds like a dick, you've only known her a year, no great loss.

lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 20:24

@FloatingObject I most definitely will/have done!

OP posts:
IndianaMoleWoman · 25/08/2019 20:26

Some people become extremely weird on holiday.

I’d give her another chance back home but never go on holiday with her again.

StormBaby · 25/08/2019 20:29

She is extremely jealous of you

PJMasksGhekko · 25/08/2019 20:37

She's a twat, lesson learned op Grin

HeyMonkey · 25/08/2019 20:46

She sounds massively jealous and insecure, hence shitting on everything you say.

Ditch her.

FlamedToACrisp · 25/08/2019 21:00

Yes, I've had that experience - with my own sister!

My DH and I + DC went away with my DS and her DH + DC (same age as ours) and their au pair.

Before the holiday (on a boat on the Norfolk Broads) we discussed several times how once the boat was moored we could all go off and do our own things, do stuff in sep families, or sisters do one thing with kids while husbands do something else together, as we all wished. A nice relaxing holiday.

Once we were there on the boat, she changed her tune completely. "What's the point of us all going on holiday together if we don't do things together?" Every single person not only had to AGREE to do the same activity but actually be KEEN to do it, or she kicked up a big fuss and wouldn't do anything at all! If even one person said, "Well, I suppose I don't mind, if you all want to..." "No, no, we are on holiday so everyone has to have a nice time. We'll do something we ALL want to do." Never mind that she was the one ruining it for everyone!!

Never again.

In unrelated news, she and her DH divorced soon after...

BEDinhalfanhour · 25/08/2019 21:05

Was she hungover? That can make people turn into Grade A - Arseholes.

lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 21:15

@BEDinhalfanhour no she wasn't hungover - she doesn't drink!

OP posts:
lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 21:17

@HeyMonkey it didn't occur to me she could be jealous as I'm not sure what there is about me to be jealous of, but the way she's tried to criticise anyone I've mentioned in passing, I do wonder if she's decided I have other friends and she doesn't and that's really pissed her off?

OP posts:
Bradbury301 · 25/08/2019 21:21

No one happy acts like that. Jealous or has something going on making her miserable.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 25/08/2019 21:24

Just be grateful it was only a long weekend! Now you know why she has no friends.
Extricate yourself from "friendship".

chipscheesegravy · 25/08/2019 21:32

100% jealous! Get rid!

Lobsterquadrille2 · 25/08/2019 21:36

Either jealous or very unhappy/depressed and wanting to bring you down too.

EllenAshSky1 · 25/08/2019 21:37

I agree with @StormBaby
Jealousy for sure

Qcng · 25/08/2019 21:46

TBH I'm a bit jealous of you being able to go on holiday as and when, and with someone you've only known a year!
You must go on loads of holidays...
Grin

lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 22:11

@Qcng I know, maybe it was the fact I keep my jet ready fuelled that did it 😂

OP posts:
lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 22:13

@Lobsterquadrille2 it sounds a bit strange but I could believe that she didn't like the fact I seemed to enjoy things but it was like she wasn't able to which made her so unpleasant. I was pleased to be on holiday as I don't go away very often but she tried to pick fault with everything and went on about how other places she'd been were so much better!

OP posts:
Thornhill58 · 25/08/2019 22:15

We never know people until we spend more time with them. Sometimes they manage to behave well until you get them out of the natural habitat.
I'll do her a favour and send her a text saying how difficult it was to be away on holiday. I can see why she said you attract the crazy because she is one.
Poor you Confused

willloman · 25/08/2019 22:18

That thing about attracting crazy people...

Obsidian77 · 25/08/2019 22:19

Yeah, I had something similar. Being in close proximity 24 hours a day makes you see what someone is really like.
Bet she'll try headfuck you now by saying what a great time you had and how much you have in common Shock
Thank your lucky stars that you've seen what she's really like, and slowly distance yourself.

CupoTeap · 25/08/2019 22:34

She's clearly right about you attracting crazy people Grin

lorettalemon · 25/08/2019 22:42

@CupoTeap definitely 😂
I think the final straw for me was when she said she had no sympathy for DV victims because they didn't leave. I haven't been on the receiving end of actual DV myself but I know people who have been and I thought she was so devoid of empathy she's not going to be a good friend to anyone

OP posts:
chickenyhead · 25/08/2019 22:44

I agree regarding jealousy.

She might just be jealous that you can be happy at all, I.e. bitter.

I had a very good friend who I had known for 10 plus years, just not turn up at the airport. Once I established that she was alive and was just angry that I hadn't agreed to her convoluted insistence on how I should get to the airport, I went on my own and it was great!

Honeyroar · 25/08/2019 23:08

Has she been in contact since you've been back?

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