Should I tell her the whole truth?

[Sharkirasharkira]

Ex left me for the OW about a year ago. He has been cheating on her this whole time.

She recently found evidence on his phone and messaged me calling me all sorts of names, demanding that I tell her the truth. I know the truth, I know everything. I know all the disgusting things he's said about her behind her back, the things he's been up to while she's out etc. I told her about the most recent message as that was what she asked about but nothing else.

I blocked him a few months back and deleted everything I had, messages, pictures etc because I wanted nothing more to do with him. Since then he's found a way to get in touch again but I have had virtually no contact with him other than him asking me for sex (and me saying no!). This is all the proof I currently have.

She said she had dumped him and wanted the truth for her piece of mind but I had angry messages from him saying she hadn't and he had it 'sorted', that I'd fucked everything up by confirming her suspicions. He has managed to lie his way out of it by completely throwing me under the bus and making me out to be the bad guy and they are still together as a result. What do I do now?

She wanted the truth. She wanted proof. She asked me directly. She obviously has a lot of doubt and little trust in him now. I can tell her the whole truth but since I have little proof would she believe me? Is there any point? I have blocked and deleted him on every format going so maybe I should just forget it all and move on with my life?

Let the cheats rot in their sordid little life and move on with yours she is ow u owe her absolutely nothing at all she has a real cheek to even ask u blockx

I'd tell her but then again I think she got what she deserved for being happy to be the OW in the first place. Karma and all that. Plus he's a scum bag and doesn't deserve to be protected.

I’d stay out of it. You gain nothing by becoming more involved.

I wouldn’t even bother OP, just be glad you’re not part of that toxic relationship anymore. Some people can’t be reasoned with whatever categorical evidence you provide. Let her figure out her own truth, you don’t owe her anything.

She presumably knew about you when she got with him, so she knows he's a cheater. That makes me lose all sympathy for her, especially given that she has messaged you insults. You don't owe either of them anything.

Have you heard of the wise, old proverb, "Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save yourself a lot of grief."

There's a lot of truth in that. Stop talking - it's not really up to you to give her any information regardless of her requests. She can do her own detective work. As for the ex just plain ignore him if you can't block him. He really does sound an unpleasant person anyway.

Neither of them are your problem and besides why welcome so much stress and detriment into your life (not to mention stopping you from moving on emotionally!) Don't you think?

Are you the poster who's pregnant and his family said the baby isn't his. He was scared of his dad. He left and got with a young girl who contacted you re him cheating? Sorry if not x

Nooo definitely not me!

I had to really struggle to hold my tongue when she started calling me a disgusting slut and a piece of shit considering what they had done to me. She started fucking him while he was still engaged to me (she did know about me) and I've never once sent her an insult! He's cheated on every gf he's ever had so she shouldn't be surprised really.

I think it just winds me up to be his scapegoat AGAIN! He's been blaming me for his shit behaviour for years and before that it was his ex. I should have known. It just kills me that people will think I'M the one in the wrong. At least I know the truth I guess.

Block her. You owe her nothing, not even a text.

People won't think it's you in the wrong, they will see him for what he is.

Why is she calling you horrible names and coming to you for confirmation? I'm probably wrong and happy to be corrected but your OP reads to me like your ex has gone back to you behind the OWs back?

Ahh! Ignore me, I missed it in your OP.

So you were shagging him again, but you've stopped now?

Yes I was. No excuses but he is very manipulative and emotionally abusive and I've had 5yrs of being moulded to do whatever me wants and never saying no to him. He told me he still loved me, wanted me back etc etc. Made promises, made me make promises, broke up with her several times, the whole thing.

Eventually I woke up and started saying no. He kept asking. I kept saying no. So I blocked him. Then he made another profile and got back in touch asking for sex and pictures and me saying no. These are the messages I still have.

Block him again!

Block them both everywhere!

These types thrive on drama and they need a third wheel to keep it going.

no longer your circus

block them everywhere and block requests from strangers.

Well, if you get off this ride for good, it would be for the best.

I think the inclination to tell her everything will just hold you back from getting on with life and draw you back into his drama. What he likes is having you both, pitched against each other - he gets off on the lies and persuading you both off to believe him. It's his idea of a good time.

Cut all contact with the lot of them. If he tries to get round your blocks again, you could consider treating it as harassment.

Block and ignore, Do not spend a second longer on this mans drama.

You know what? Yeah, fuck it. She asked for the truth, I told her, I provided her proof that I had. If she still chooses to ignore it and believe his absolute bullshit then that's on her. She knows what's she's getting into, I've done my bit and I don't owe either of them anything! Fuck them both.

Blocked and deleted the lot.

To be honest I wouldn’t have even entertained her. My response would have been “not my problem what your partner does” clearly she had no respect for your relationship

Justin will tell her all she needs to know.
Send a link and block her ass. 💁‍♀️

🎵🎵🎵
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get is a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you what you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
You cheated, girl
My heart bleeded, girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case scenario
Tale as old as time girl, you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But girl, I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see, see
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)

Why are you even talking to this person ??

Block, delete, move on.

He sounds like a narcissist and you need to remove yourself from this situation entirely and block him on every platform. He just sees women as narcissistic supply and his new victim needs to realise this in her own time.

You need to focus on recovering from years of abuse by this man and really get to the bottom of why you stayed in an abusive relationship so long and kept going back. Read all you can about narcissism and eventually you will see him for the pathetic, manipulative, selfish empty person he is.

narcsite.com/2017/03/03/to-sin-is-to-win-2/

This site really gives you an insight into his mindset. You cant win with a narc, you just have to run and never look back.