Is he too keen? Warning sign?!

[Bitzkitz]

After a divorce I’m just getting back into dating after ten years (have been single after splitting from ex for about 18 months). I met a guy on a dating site and have been chatting daily for about 6 weeks. We met after a couple of weeks and have been having regular dates but he seems rather keen and drops hints that he hasn’t felt like this since his previous serious relationship etc and seems to want to integrate himself in my life. I on the other hand am feeling very confused. We have great chemistry and clicked from the off (shared humour, feel comfortable with him) but I’m worried that things may be moving too fast emotionally and I’m not sure I fully trust my judgement (previous relationships have been abusive and coercive). This guy is happy to go at my pace when I’ve slowed him and has not pressured me in the slightest for sex or anything but it’s the emotional intimacy that I’m struggling with and I don’t know if this is because I’m not used to this kind of thing or whether this is a warning sign that this guy is a clinger!

What’s “normal” in relationships when you are both in your mid to late thirties with kids from previous relationships? I’m so scared of falling into a trap of another unhealthy relationship 😞

For info I have two kids, he has one who he sees regularly. I have no intention of him meeting mine (unless it became serious down the line) but he has mentioned a park meet up to informally hang out while kids are around which I have said I’m not ready to do.

Could it be that he is genuinely blown away by you and is hoping that this is a new relationship that will go somewhere? If he was too much the other way and never getting in touch then you wouldn't be happy either.
He's keen because he's interested. Take things at your own pace and enjoy getting to know him. It might work out, it might not. You aren't going to know unless you give him a chance. Stop trying to read too much into what sounds like a genuine guy. Just get to know him. He might be what you are looking for.

not used to a man being upfront and open like this open and honest isn't a bad thing op. It's just, well, open and honest.

OP is obviously sensible to take it slow esp Re kids. But there are lots of women here who rush into relationships where the guy has kids, who have clearly been in the kids lives from the beginning. Funny how they're not all abusive paedophiles.

Are you all serious?! He just sounds like a nice guy who likes her! And maybe his child is a big part of his life so he wants to share that? He suggested hanging out at a park not a sleepover! My DP was exactly this way from the start - 2 years on he's still absolutely lovely and we've never had an argument. Red flags though would be: saying horrible things about ex partners, getting stroppy/needy if you don't spend time together or answer his calls immediately, insisting on taking things faster than you're ready for. But give nice guys a chance!

Second that !! If I were you I would head away from MN where every action of a single male is a 'red flag '.

It's all so tedious.

Go with the flow OP. He hasn't actually stepped a foot wrong and understand that MN is full of people who have had really shit relationships. This doesn't mean this is you !

Bullshit is it MN being paranoid - it's far too fast to introduce the dc when you've only known him 6 weeks. That he's dropped it is good, but it's weird that he suggested it so early on.

I've met guys like this...You think he is really in to you then one day you click that he is actually obsessed with you and it all starts very similar to what you have started with OP. The same type of guys will often compliment you but after awhile, it's "That looks nice but I think this would look slightly better on you, you want to look your best"...You think it's all great and fair enough before you know it you're being moulded in to some warped vision of what they see as the ideal woman and any attempt to turn against it is met with either weird passive aggressive statement or absolute aggression...Run... absolutely run!

Sorry but people are being wary BECAUSE of their own experiences. That is the whole point in posting on here.
Yes, maybe it is all innocent but we are here to give advice to the OP based on what we have seen ourselves. Suggested a meet up with the kids IS a red flag to be wary of. If he respects your boundaries going forward then fair enough.
It is good you are being cautious!

"it's weird that he suggested it so early on"
Its probably just naivete. I know its considered inappropriate to introduce kids until at least, 6 months isn't it? But he doesn't know about this rule, is really keen on OP, and doesn't realize its a bad idea.

Sounds more like putting a very short term relationship before the needs of this kids then surely? Lets hope naivety is all it is.