Nothing abusive in either side, just lost our way, been in some pretty stressful situations over the last couple of weeks and our communication is terrible
The thing about a long term relationship is that you can't expect it to be new and shiny anymore. You can't avoid experiencing the pain of loss, illnesses and disappointments that hit us all through life. That's the point, you're together through thick and thin, and weather those storms together. And, yes, you get to see the good, the bad and the ugly of each other not just the nice stuff - you have to put up with each other's annoying (or endearing!) idiosyncrasies.
The key thing is that you both need to make the effort to communicate and connect on a daily basis to keep the relationship alive. It doesn't happen by magic, you both need to want to make it happen.
You can find enjoyment together, even in the most mundane and ordinary stuff. DH and I are going to the council tip (exciting, not!) after clearing out the garage yesterday. He could have gone on his own but I said, I'll come along for the ride and help you unload. You can turn something dull into a team event. Small acts of love are what hold the relationship together. We'll probably have a cappuccino afterwards to celebrate our clean garage!
It's like a garden, if you neglect it, the weeds and brambles choke out all the beauty. If you pay it some attention (not too much, no need to overdo it!) then it thrives and rewards you.