AIBU to need time for myself alone?

[Justtickingboxes]

I am going insane because I am NEVER alone. I can't think without eing interrupted, I can't read, can't paint or plan. My DH feels rejected if I ask for Sat pm alone and never takes more than 2 of our 3 kids out without me... I am at my wits end. I know I am an introvert and am in a job which does not give me any peace or a creative outlet, so my time is so limited. Am snappy, impatient and edgy without at least a couple of hours to myself. Help!

The more I withdraw, the more offended and cold my DH becomes... I despair

No it's perfectly reasonable to have alone time

Does he trust you? Sounds like a trust issue x

Sounds like you have a limpet.

Was he always like this? I'm assuming not otherwise why marry him? In which case what changed him into limpet man?

What happens if you go out alone? Take a book or your paints to the park and turn your phone off.

Does he feel the need to have time to himself?

Would not work for us. Very lucky to have a lounge and a study so we go to our lairs when we need time alone.

It really is very important to have your own space now and then.

No other advice. Sorry.

Dies he get time without all 3 kids because if he does you need to point out he is being utterly unreasonable!

Tell him he either gives you time alone or you will split and that means that you will get time alone when he has the kids. Maybe write to him in a way that explains that it's not about him. I'm an extrovert and I need time alone. When the kids were little I used to stay up really late just to have some time when noone was asking anything of me.

I’m the same. If I don’t have a decent amount of time to myself then I go loopy, get really stressed over very small things, become really snappish and sarcastic... basically a nightmare to live with! My DH is very good at ensuring I have enough time to myself in the house (I am a homebody so my alone time needs to be in the house to be really effective). But we currently only have the one DC so it’s not too much hard work to take her out for a few hours.

We try and give each other alone time. So I will head of to costa with a book and take as long as I want. My dh will often go for a climb.

We both understand it helps us cope better with the dc.

You are totally reasonable.

If you divorce, you will usually get every other weekend alone. And you will be alone when your children are in bed.

Your husband needs to know this is an option you are considering - and if you aren't - why aren't you?

Why doesn’t he take all three DC out?

How old are they?

Can YOU head out?

Have you got any hobbies that enable you to go of and have time on your own? I ride my horse and walk my dog which for me is a great escape from having my family constantly demanding from me and wanting my attention. You time is essential for your own sanity, I find it helps me to be a better wife and mum.

Thanks for your replies. Dh used to take kids a afternoons on Sat when we lived in London, but I lost this time off when we relocated to our more misogynistic village :/

Thd kids are 6, 4 and 2

Perfectly normal to want some alone time.

Why does the village stop him?

Yes you definitely have a DH problem here

DH laughs at my 'me time' but I don't care, I need it and I have it.
I notice when we are on holiday with dc so together 24/7 he also unsurprisingly likes some.
It is totally normal.

Tbf, handling kids ages 2, 4 and 6 by yourself on a weekend while your partner has “alone time” is a bit of a luxury. Daytime alone time is a precious commodity with that many small children, once they’re in bed it becomes an issue of when you get couple time if you’ve been with the kids all day.

Maybe put it in terms of “there are 30 evenings we get to spend together every month. I’d like to have 4 or 5 just to myself to paint or read. You can have the same if you want; if not, let’s get a sitter and go out together”