I'll get a refuge if I need one?

[Shewashorrible]

It will be ok, won't it? I called the national domestic violence helpline but the woman who answered refused to give me any refuge numbers. I was crying and scared. She told me I couldn't leave just because of something that may happen. I'd just told her my partner has been violent more than once and I was scared of him losing his temper. She said I had to go to my local domestic abuse service for a local place and she couldn't check the national database for free spaces. It was closed when I called but I thought it was safer to go somewhere else? My partner wouldn't be happy if I left him. I really don't want to leave and I'm scared of what it's like in a refuge so I'm conflicted. My partner can be so nice and loving at times. I know they're not all like her on the helpline but I've lost my confidence and I'll have to build it up again. She was just a bad egg wasn't she?

Sounds bad

Get out

I don't know but there are more places than you would realise

Can you afford a cheap hotel for tonight and then check tomorrow

Leave ASAP

Sorry to hear this, OP. Apologies if this isn't helpful in this situation but where are you based? This sounds scary and you should be somewhere you feel safe x

if you are in danger leave now and go straight to the local police station to report it. They should have specially trained officers who can support you and signpost you to appropriate services who will help you to stay safe. Don't let the woman put you off, you can get this sorted and change your life for the better

It's ok. I'm on my own for a few weeks. My partner's working away so I've got some time. I think I'll try again after the bank holiday.

@Shewashorrible she sounds like a very bad practitioner and please do not let her put you off seeking help. As a woman in a very similar position I know it is devastating to receive that reaction. There is always help, please don't let one incompetent and downright irresponsible person deter you if you feel you need to leave. If you need help tonight there are things you can do and people that can help

I emailed them about my situation and they emailed me loads of advice and details to help. I ended up going through my local domestic abuse team and they got me a house pretty much straight away so I stayed with my mum until it was liveable (ino im lucky to have that) But they won't just put you in a refuge close to home. If you are in desperate need you can go anywhere where their is space that's why scared me. But they arrange for you to get their safely etc their amazing though an now is your time to do it why he's away!! Maybe try your local one after bank holiday and give the national one a email get some numbers and advice xx

You can also go to your council’s housing department. Mine found me a place in a suitable refuge, as they had local phone numbers. It wasn’t in my home town as that would not be safe.

how are you doing OP?

I'm ok. Feeling guilty because I'm really enjoying my partner being away. He was nice before he left but it doesn't usually last. I'll try contacting services next week. Emailing might be a good idea. It's so hard to get through. I don't want to leave a voicemail in case the same woman picks it up! Council didn't help btw, I tried them. They told me to contact domestic abuse services.

I’m sorry about the council. Please don’t feel guilty.

Don't fewl guilty. It's great that you're enjoying him being away, it shows that you'll be so much happier when you're free of him. Focus on how you feel as hope for how you will feel in the future.

Are you ok ?