Polyamorous ! Possibly 😣

[Souldestroying]

Is there anyone on here that is in an open relationship or polyamorous??? Up for a chat with me ?

Sure. But do bear in mind that there’s not really a one-size-fits-all approach on this and what what works for some people doesn’t for others. So I won’t claim to be an authority on non-monogamy or polyamory or open relationships - I’m just an authority on myself!

I 2nd PP. It's relationship anarchy and different to what society think it is and very much up to the individuals involved and how they set the parameters.

Someone has a thread on AMA about polyamory. Ping her a pm.

I’m poly with a mono DH. I’m happy to chat. What I will say here is it works but it’s HARD especially recently when my secondary relationship broke down.
I agree I can only be an authority on myself though.

@Nosquit - I am insatiably nosey so do tell me to fuck off but am genuinely interested in how your relationship/s work: the only example I know of a couple where one half was poly and the other mono was where they were clearly trying to make it work when one of them wanted to shag around and the other didn’t want to lose their partner so agreed to it. Really really positive to hear that it isn’t always that way with that dynamic.

It depends on the parties involved. If it's ok for you, that's great. Funny though how it's almost always one man two women...the men tend to get very jealous when it's one woman two men...

@YouJustDoYou - This is a widely held idea, that it’s driven by the male half of a couple who wants to shag other women, and this may be the case in some relationships; but in my experience (and most of the many many people I know socially are non-monogamous, so my experience is pretty broad) it’s just as equally or even more driven by women who have realised they’re bisexual or bicurious and have been the instigator in opening the relationship up so they can explore that part of their sexuality.

Plus, you’re referring specifically to threesomes rather than the wider scope of open relationships or non-monogamy: not all non-monogamous couples engage in threesomes or group sex.

Are you sure you don't mean an open relationship? Or do you want to have more than one partner to date/live with you? And do you want both partners to date each other if you all lived together?

My friend is considering a poly relationship, so I'd love to hear how these kind of relationships work out.

And if it helps, my ex was polyamorous (I say ex, we were seeing each other and nearly became official). His gf at the time knew he was poly but she wasn't. She couldn't handle it at all and ended up leaving after he formed relationships with others. I don't think I could handle it but hats off to those who do.

My husband is just VERY understanding. But it’s all about truth and being 100% open with each other. I can’t “shag around” assuch, I have to ask permission and build relationships/friendships before anything sexual happens. I’ve only really had a couple of other relationships since being married and it can be hard as sometimes the “third party” can get a bit freaked out by the fact that I’m so honest with my husband. I tell any potential partners straight away that I am married but poly I never pretend to be single. I think it also helps that my husband knows he could have others if he wanted to, he just doesn’t want to. (Though im bi and he always hints that he’d be up for a threesome with another woman: though it’s not something I’d suggest to a partner though would be open if they suggested it.)

I have had relationships with both sexes.

Thinking more of an open relationship. Since having my kids I have no energy for sex at all and my partner is crazy for it like multiple times of day type. I feel like I cant keep up at all and was thinking maybe it might be the right move for him to go and get it else where

Me and DH were poly for the first few years of our relationship as we were both in poly relationships when we met.
Tbh we found it a difficult to keep up once we got more serious about each other. And particularly once kids were on the scene.
We both split up swith our previous partners and haven't seen the need to get new ones.
We talk about Poly in an abstract way now. As an alternative to splitting up if either one of us felt the need for an affair. Its not my ideal anymore though.

Oh wow, OP. Just read your update. He sounds like a sex pest. I don't think Poly will fix that. 3 times a day is just such an unreasonable expectation.
Sounds like he needs to go have a wank and stop hassling you for sex

That doesn't sound poly to me, op. That sounds like your husband needs to take a cold shower.

I'd have an open relationship if I could. But dh is monogamous so it's never going to happen

So it seems to help if you've got the morals of alley cats

Soul destroying - what you are describing is really not the basis for a Poly relationship.

I'm making him sound like a sex pest 😂 he really isn't that bad. I think it's more me and feeling highly guilty that I dont give out as much as I used to. I just got no interest in it any more if I'm honest. Am I wrong in feeling that if I cant provide for him someone else can ? I'd rather it be done this way than him going out and cheating? Now I'm making myself crazy :/

If you genuinely feel that way and would actually be completely okay with the situation then you aren’t “wrong” for it. As a lot of us have already said, there’s no set of rules or guidebook, only what makes individuals and couples happy and comfortable.

Guilt and pressure are not the best places to start making this sort of decision from though, so I think you both need to do a lot of thinking and a lot of talking about how you both feel and whether it’s the right solution.

Basically you want to 'keep' him by allowing him to sleep with whoever he wants. That's not healthy and not a marriage. Sorry op, you think you might save your relationship but you will lose yourself.

Op, you are trying to solve your issue by allowing your DH to shag other women.

Have you considered what would happen if an ow fell in love with your husband...or if he developed feelings for an ow?

Can you perhaps have a day a week where a relative babysits, your DH can spoil you and you can spend time with each other in a more relaxing capacity? Perhaps it will provide better opportunity for intimacy between you.

No, this doesn't sound Poly. This sounds like a worn down woman who is so tired of being pestered she's thinking of letting the man cheat because she doesn't want to be lied to and left. Out of interest, if you 'let' him be with another woman would he be ok with you doing the same?