I am meeting my divorce lawyer next week

[CheesecakeAddict]

Deep breaths... It is happening!!

(back story in short: left abusive DH in May after 10 years together, we have DD aged nearly 2 years. I've had to wait because we've not even been married 1 year. He only became abusive after we were married).

What should I expect? Is it going to be truly awful? What should I make sure I ask the lawyer?

I feel a sense of relief and dare I say it, excitement about my future (he is never going to be able to lay a finger again on me!!) but I'm so scared of what is about to come. He is claiming I suffer mental health issues and making all this up 🙄

Congratulations.
Your meeting wit’s the lawyer doesn’t need to be awful.
What you ask depends on your circumstances. Is this a one/off advice meeting? Or is it a meeting where you decide to hire them?

If this is a one/off - ask how you go through the process on your own. Short marriage divorces aren’t complicated, generally.
If you think he might object to your application to delay the divorce - ask the lawyer how to best write up the reasons for divorce. Those should list ‘unreasonable’ behaviours that the judge would deem enough of grounds to divorce. However - if he is going to argue with what you put in there - it doesn’t help you and you’ll need to wait for 2 years of separation to file.
If you want to avoid it - you might need to help him ‘save face’ and put other reasons that his abusive behaviour that he is likely to contest.
Look online - there are some helpful examples. It’s amazing what can be considered ‘unreasonable’ enough to be granted a divorce. The list in the application is really a formality, not a judgement of character.

If you are meeting the lawyer to get them to represent you - it’s a different conversation.

PM me if you want. I am a bit further in the process

OP - it depends on your situation what you want to ask.
Is this your one free meeting, or are you able to hire them to represent you?
Your meeting with the lawyer shouldn’t be awful - given that you already made a decision to divorce and it is certainly the best course of action for you.

I've had my free meeting. He was helping me with some other stuff like DH is taking me to court to get my address. He said it would take a while and what my rights were. STBXH will definitely block the reason as he doesn't think he has done anything wrong...

Have a chat with Womens Aid and Rights of Women.
If he has been abusive and violent you need to get it reported asap.
They can help you with all of that.
I'm sorry he showed his true colours once married.
Unfortunately a lot of abusers are very good at hiding it until they get you 'trapped'
But you've taken a stand got out so well done on doing it so soon.
WA and RoW can help with local solicitors who are used to dealing with abusers if you aren't happy with yours.
But he cannot stop you from divorcing him.
All abusers claim the mother has 'mental health issues'
The courts are wise to this now.
But to be safe get an appointment with your GP to get it 'on paper' that you are mentally completely sound and he is just an abusive fuckwit.
He will throw all sorts at you.
And at times it will be awful.
But you sound strong and you will get through it.
Good luck OP and keep going!

Does your Ex object to divorce in general or objects to abuse being mentioned?
Thing is - if he doesn’t object to divorce in principle - don’t make it j to an argument over the ‘reasons’.
There is still no ‘no fault’ divorce and it can take up to 5 years if he disagrees with the behaviours you list on application. And - in that case - listing other reasons may be able to get you there faster.
If he disagrees with divorce in general - your only option is to wait for 2 years separation.
Unless there are some other laws that govern short marriages.

Hellsbells: the problem is, I do have MH issues. I had a breakdown and ended up depressed about 3 weeks before I left him. The pressure of being in a toxic relationship, plus having to keep a house spotless, looking after a high needs toddler (he refused to do anything and would act like Man of the Match because he loaded the dishwasher) as well as having a high pressure job just broke me. I'm having therapy at the minute and I'm in a really good place now. But I didn't make any of it up, in fact if anything, I repressed many incidents

OP - having a depression that is being treated will not count against you in the divorce procedure.
As my solicitor said - when I mentioned having to take anti-anxiety meds during our meetings - ‘half of people going through divorce are on anti depressants.’

What is happening now with you - are you clear on the next steps?
Are you in a safe place where you can prepare and strategise?