Has anyone successfully prosecuted an ex for harrassment?

[Stuckandsad]

I dont want to go into any details but an ex of mine took our break up badly and now the police have finally submitted the case to the CPS for a charge.
Has anyone been through this? And could you tell me what to expect?
I dont think I've ever been so stressed and down. Constant worry that I wont be believed etc. Ex was very smart so not the type to send threatening messages. This was more surveiling/humiliating me in person (4 witnesses gave statements).
Womens aid have been lovely but I'm so scared of him being found not guilty. We live in a village and I feel like my reputation will be destroyed :(

Unfortunately I did.
My ex husband was thankfully stupid enough to do it all by text and email so the evidence was all clear cut.
I got a 2 year restraining order and he was found guilty of harassment.
It was not a pleasant experience but worth it as he has a criminal record.
Ask me any questions you like.

Oh well done skinkymalinki did he plead guilty? Mine has admitted to certain things but so far denied he did any of them with bad intentions iyswim. I've had a real mix of helpful officers and ones who have been quite dismissive so I dont feel very confident

Op
I'm a police officer.
Who is the officer in case (oic) and have you spoken to them recently?

The cps will look at all the available evidence and then decide whether there is enough evidence to secure a conviction at court.

If they say not then it will not go to court
If they say there is then he will either be charged to court if he's on bail or reported on summons to appear at court .

This is a lengthy process I'm afraid. If he pleads not guilty then a date will be set for trial
At that stage it becomes a game of chicken - who blinks first so stand firm !!
9/10 a plea gets changed on the first day of court trial - I've done this 10 years and never had a case of mine that they didn't plead guilty on day 1 . If there is evidence enough to secure a conviction then their barrister/legal rep will advise them usually to plead for a lesser sentence.

If you are unsure at what stage your complaint is I'd find out who the OIC Is and ask them to give you a call or even email update.

Good luck .

hellenbackagen thanks so much for your reply :) my oic has been on leave for two weeks but his sergeant emailed today telling me that it will be submitted to CPS. Harrasment and common assault. Does the charging decision come back from CPS within a set amount of time or is it usually a few weeks?

Yes I did, very similar - he went on to vandalise a car on my drive after I already had a court restraining order in place.

He didn't turn up to the first trial date, and was late to the second - but they had already decided to try him in his absence. He turned up after I had given my testimony. He had pleaded not guilty, saying I had vandalised the car myself to frame him! No witnesses, and only a text to back me up. It played out as the PP says - his lawyer told him to plead guilty when he did turn up.

Stay very calm, stay solid in your truth, be ruthlessly honest, even if it makes you look bad (I'd tried to persuade him to own up to the damage and pay for it - it wasn't my car - before I called the Police).

I live in a small town too, and he had been blackening my name for years, even while we were together. The truth is that the people who matter won't believe him, and those who believe him either don't know you, or are frenemies. I actually grew to love it when I'd meet someone new and they would slowly come to the realisation that I am THAT ChristmasFluff - I'm so far from who he says I am.

As Plato (or someone!) says, 'when men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.'

Oh, and because he'd broken the court order, he went to prison. Good.

stuckandsad

I'm afraid it can take a few weeks depending on their back log and case load . Sometimes it's within a week others it's a few weeks then we end up chasing them ....

Just try and sit tight . I know it's hard x

christmasfluff well done. Honestly good for you :) that's what I've tried to do, and probably the thing I'm worried will cause the case to get dropped. At the height of it I did text him in order to try and put a stop to it, I told him we might be friends one day if he stopped the behaviour. I put that in my statement but then of course he just carried on. No reasoning with abusive men I guess!!
Nice officer said that someone with sense could see I was under duress but who knows?!
Did you ever get an apology or a flicker of remorse or anything like that?

I'm really surprised by how lonely the whole process is. I dont know anyone in real life who's done this and my OIC is nice but obviously he to be unbiased.

Thanks hellenbackagen again! That's really useful to know. I think I'll just sit tight for a couple of weeks then give them a call. I imagine with bank holiday etc everyone will be super busy.

Hi @Stuckandsad. I'm so sorry you're going through this, yes this has happened to me as well. Exactly as @hellenbackagen said, yes it took a while to go through (several months to get to court eventually), and after denying everything all that time he then changed his plea on the first day. I think up until that point he didn't take it seriously, thought I wouldn't go through with it, or that he could persuade/guilt trip me into dropping charges. He even called me after he'd been told to go NC by the police to try to persuade me to drop the charges because I would ruin his life and he would lose his job.

I know its so exhausting and stressful, these kinds of people are experts in making you feel like you're the crazy one, and that you won't be believed. If he does anything at all that makes you feel uncomfortable, intimidated or unsafe, (even if its through somebody else) write it down so you have a record. Sometimes things that seem small in isolation are useful as part of the bigger picture of how you are being harassed. I know its very hard, but do try not to worry; my ex also tried to use things I had said under duress to try twist the narrative to his advantage. He still got found guilt of harassment and a restraining order was also organised on my behalf which was a huge relief. Good luck, I know its hard to see when you're in the midst of it, but you really are doing the right thing.

wildwood6 thankyou so so much. That's exactly it. I feel either like I'm going mad or that other people will think I am. It's kind of running alongside me slowly realising just how nasty he was, all the flags I missed.
I'm never ever going through this again

I'm actually quite good ya know!

Op I'm happy to help if
You want to pm me at any time . Just hang in there and see what cps say.