Money and debt

[Mynameisnotthis]

I’m in a bit of spin

A couple of times in the past I’ve discovered my husband is in debt. The first time was when we moved in together 10 years ago and when we went on the electoral role loads of old catalogues, council tax etc caught up with him. He’d had a hard time, lost both his parents young so I paid them off. He was v grateful. We moved into a mortgaged house a year later.

Twice in that time he’s run up credit, loans etc. We paid a load off when I got s redundancy pay a while back.

Then he dabbled in buying and selling on eBay with a hope to make a profit. He didn’t and ended up with thousands on s credit card. Instead of concentrating on just paying them off he took a loan higher than the outstanding amount and now pays the loan back.

You can see where this is going can’t you? He now has another £3k on cards. He’s been lying to me. It all came to a head last night.

It’s only from opening up to a friend today that I can see I’ve been a mug.

We have 2 young children. I’m on maternity leave.

This is the end isn’t it

I desperately want to talk to my mum or dad but my mum has a night out tonight that I don’t want to ruin and my dad’s in France so I can’t spoil his holiday.

Husband chose to still go play golf today. Guess that shows where his priorities lie.

He packed a back this morning and threatened to go stay at his sister. This is the point I normally give in to keep him here. This time i just let him go. He’s since said he doesn’t want to be away from the children so he’ll come home. Can’t help but think the truth is he doesn’t want to have to tell her the truth.

When I met him he had nothing. Nothing. And I loved him. I still love him but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t clear my head enough to look at the practicalities.

"He packed a back this morning and threatened to go stay at his sister. This is the point I normally give in to keep him here. This time i just let him go. He’s since said he doesn’t want to be away from the children so he’ll come home...."

Manipulation tactic to make you feel bad. If you feel bad/guilty etc., you won't rock the boat.

My ex threatened all sorts of bollocks, including disappearing forever to another Continent. I told him go then. Of course he didn't. I think they all follow a script.

Speak with your parents after their respective holidays.

I'd be forcing him to sell anything of value he owns such as iPad,golf clubs,etcetera to put towards debt and then divorce the idiot so fast his head would spin

A massive tailback on the motorway near Leicester made the news one night a few years ago.

I messaged a couple of friends in the area. One didnt message back until the next day.

The reason for the tailback was that she had caught her husband had gambled away all their money and remortgage the house. AGAIN. He went on to a motorway bridge and threatened to jump off.

We all know he no intention to jump off. He usual guilt tactics didnt work. So he upped the ante. So loads of police officers, paramedics etc were all called to the scene. Thousands of people sat on the motorway and got home 5 plus hours later. All because that selfish twat had fucked his wife and family over, again and couldnt deal with the consequences. She was mortified. He thought she could NOT take him back after that. That people would judge her for kicking a suicidal man out.

Thats how selfish these people are. They dont give a shit. They only care about how they continue they comfortable life WHILE having access to money to gamble.

They arent bothered if they make you feel bad. They want to make you feel bad so you give them what they want.

He will have lied to you over and over and over again.

And now he is trying to manipulate you into letting it go.

Oh and I would tell his sister. If he does go there at some point he will blame you.

Probably petty, but I would give her the heads up on why he is looking for somewhere to stay. I woildnt allow him spinning his sad tale to anyone else. Especially as his sad tale will include taking their money as well.

SIL lost their house due to his gambling, even whilst they were on some sort of debt repayment plan he managed to get more credit cards/loans and the ended up putting charges against the house.

Please get legal advice ASAP

Check your credit report - the full one which shows all the credit searches done in your name as well.
It will show up any credit cards/loans that are attached to your name.
i wouldn't put it past him to have forged your signatures.