Guy i'm dating is leaving for Australia

[walker05]

We have only been dating for 3 weeks which is nothing at all. We have said we like each other and there is a really big spark there, but he is going to Australia at the start of Sept.
I have no idea how long he is going for; he said he could be back in a month but cannot promise anything.
I'm torn because I do like him. I dont want to stay in touch and then he tells me he's staying for a year and falls in love with some travelling girl over there.
I also dont want to think about the possibility of him having flings over there.
I have no idea what to do. We met through OLD, and he seems very genuine and kind but I suppose anyone can at first.
If it were only a month or two there would be no problem, but I really dont know.
Should I ask him before he goes where me and him stand, or accept this may just be a short-term thing with a sell-by date ? Thanks

As my Nana used to say 'if in doubt, do nothing'. I would just enjoy the time you have left and don't necessarily be too disheartened if he doesn't keep in touch all the time. When I was away it was all consuming and to be honest I didn't give much thought to anyone back at home! As I said we very occasionally had a message here and there but when he gets back if he gets in touch just pick up where you left off.

Just ask him?

You have as much right to know where you stand as he does

If you don’t ask, you can’t really complain if he never contacts you again. But in all honesty.. he shouldn’t have started dating you if he knew he was going travelling

I very much doubt he’ll be back in a month. That’s no reflection of you, but if you’re gunna go travelling most people do it for several months at least

I think if he makes little or no effort to stay in contact then yes

He’s gunna be living the dream travelling in Australia. I don’t think it’s fair to expect him to keep up regular contact with you when you’ve only been together a matter of weeks

You’re better off asking him now where you stand. Don’t let him have all the say in when and how your relationship progresses

he just seems so nice and not at all a 'player' type

Well, I'm not suggesting he is a 'player', exactly, but on the other hand, would you go on OLD (and, further, start seeing someone who is serious about looking for a relationship) when you are about to leave for the other side of the world for an unspecified period? I mean, what would you be thinking? One possibility is obviously no-strings-attached sex, but is it possible it simply didn't occur to him that this is a fairly weird and rude thing to do? He's wasting time you could have spent dating someone else, after all.

Enjoy the time you have got and then end it. It may be permanent, it may be temporary. It's really hard to keep in touch across a time zone like that, plus he hardly knows you.

I'd been with my OH for a few years when I went travelling, after 3 days I just could not be arsed with keeping in touch. I had a great time seeing the world and being promiscuous. I wouldn't have changed a thing! Leave him to it.

Yeah.. I think i've just got to ask him really, and be clear in what I want as opposed to it being all on his terms.
I've been through much worse than this so i'm sure I will be fine ! I'm just glad he has been polite and nice rather than nasty and rude verbally like I've had before.
I agree that it is an odd thing to do unless you know youre only there for a couple months.
I will just talk to him Sunday when I see him.

Is he travelling or working over there? How long is his visa for?

Personally I would just say have a great time and leave it at that. His actions whilst there (ie contact)will tell you all you need to know. I wouldn’t wait around personally and if he gets in touch when back and you are single then maybe meet up again.

I'd be really annoyed he wasn't upfront about this from the beginning. I'd also be put off big time by his....might be a month, might be a year...vague plans. I'd keep in tentative contact while he was away, but I certainly wouldn't be waiting for him at this stage. If he comes back and you're both still single and what to hook up great.

The visa is for 1 year.. Is this like the minimum visa you can get ? I've no idea. But the whole thing seems very vague. All I know is that theyre first going to Thailand and then they are going around the different cities and visiting a few mates.
I've suggested doing something for the next date which will be outdoors and not an occasion to hook up and he's agreed to it which hopefully is a good sign.
Sadly yes, if he cannot confirm for example that it's only a couple of months or that he wants an LDR then I will have to forget him and see if he contacts me when back.

Hmm...I think unless he is REALLY into you and invested in taking things further, I doubt you'll hear much from him. Also, do you want to hang around for maybe a year in the hope that he wants to pick up when he gets back? Do you expect him to be faithful while he's away? I think I would chalk this up to a friendship right now and then see what happens when/if he comes back.

I’d basically do what pp said and keep him on your radar as a nice new contact/friend rather than the love of your life. Then if he wants to adjust plans to meet you that option is there but you’re not hanging round for him?

Keep meeting/dating other guys, maybe touch base occasionally but don’t spend hours on skype building up a fantasy relationship.

I wouldn't be asking him where I stood, and asking about a LDR, because, erm, 3 weeks/6 dates.

I would be telling him where I stood, and that would be that I had really enjoyed our dates and liked what I'd seen of him so far, so let's have a great time until he leaves, then stick it on ice. If he's still single when he's back, then to get in touch, and if I'm still single, then maybe we can pick up where we left off?

I wouldn't be wanting to put my life on hold for someone I didn't really know - however much it may feel you know him. 'Lack of abusiveness' is a pretty low standard for him to have to meet, after all!