Possible Problems after eloping?

[Fgsdl]

Me and oh are planning on secretly eloping. We're planning on having fil, aunt, our children and two friends attend at the local church (a church marriage is important to me) then a Chinese at ours afterwards. Mil,and my parents have passed.

It's exactly what I want tbh. I just want to be married to oh and the thought of a big day in front of loads of people fills me with anxiety. Also the money factor is important. I don't think I could justify spending thousands on a day that for me with put my anxiety through the roof.

My real question is has anyone done this and it's caused problems with friends and family afterwards.? I have have friends that have had big princess weddings and been bridesmaid for some of them? Do you think that would cause problems? Or would you be insulted if a friend did this to you?

There's a few people I'm like 'oh I'd quite like you to know' but I think it would be one of those things where I tell one person I have to invite so and so and suddenly there's a bigger guest list!

I'm also very aware that if people fall out with me over this, they probably weren't very good friends to begin with but I just want an idea of what I might expect.

Thanks in advance

We had 7 at our wedding, registry office then pub lunch. Tea and cake at home, took our own photos. It was perfect. Had a gathering of friends a week later and surprised them with our news. Everyone including my difficult uncle were delighted for us, no one was offended and if they had been they had the problem not me!

If it's what you and dp want go for it.

Your nearest and dearest will be there.

Everyone will be happy for you.

Your wedding, your choice! What you're doing is not 'secretly eloping' if you are having half a dozen guests! You might have slightly more problems explaining it to some people who weren't invited than if you did actually elope. That's their problem though.

My ex and I did elope, told no one including parents and siblings. It was great! Our family and friends totally accepted it. Funnily enough, the only people who said things (jokingly I presume) like "you've done us out of a good wedding!" were people it wouldn't have occurred to me to invite even if I'd had a big wedding!

Friends of mine did it many years ago. They married abroad, just the two of them and told everyone afterwards. Everyone I know of was very supportive. It was their choice. Have a lovely day.

My best friend did this 10 years ago (my real best friend, not one where I think we’re close but we’re not). Our friendship didn’t recover. I know that sounds dramatic, but she kept it a secret even though she actually called me the morning of her wedding and we had a long chat about the weekend etc (it was the same day as my birthday). Her view was that her big wedding was the following year with a 100 odd people and this was just a registry office thing with their parents and siblings. One of the siblings then plastered the photos all over Facebook.

It seems a bit ridiculous now that I was so upset, but I remember being flabbergasted at the time. It definitely damaged our friendship and I then moved away and didn’t keep in touch and I didn’t go to the other wedding the following year (actually I didn’t rsvp which is rude).

So I hope that your plans go smoothly. It’s not about other people, but there will be those close to you who could be part of the excitement, even if not actually present on the day

P.s. moving away wasn’t anything to do with her secret wedding. Just that it meant I didn’t kept any connection or follow up when she then contacted me