So I’m just looking for a bit of advice really, I’ve been with my fiancée on and off for 4 years (more on for the last 3). We had our first baby together last year and I pretty quickly got pregnant again with our second, the relationship has had its rocky patches but before our first baby came along I was confident in it and him. We lived together for around 2 years before our first was born so I knew what he was like to live with (selfish and messy, but he’d sort himself out if I nagged enough). Since our first was born he’s become even more selfish, didn’t have much to do with baby until weaned, I put this down to the fact I breastfed until she was 1 so he ‘couldn’t’ really look after her for any length of time but now thinking that was just an excuse. He’s better with her now she’s up and about and off the boob, but still very selfish, always putting himself first, whether it be with money or something as little as putting a wash on (once in a blue moon) he’d only wash his own clothes, none of mine and babies. Anyway, I’m now 7 months pregnant looking after our 1 year old daughter full time, trying (and failing) to keep on top of our house - we’ve also just moved, everything’s still in boxes and we haven’t even got the bed up so I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for the last few weeks and little one still in travel cot, I’m getting more and more stressed as I can only do so much and before babies was incredibly independent. I had a well-paid sales job working 40 hours a week, own my car, had enough money to live comfortably. I don’t mind the change as I’d give up anything for my bab(ies), but I’ve sorted out all the money since being on maternity (he’s always been useless with it), he can’t drive, expects to be carted around anywhere and everywhere at the drop of a hat, cooked and cleaned for while he plays video games (also he’s signed off sick as he has a bad back which he takes a cocktail of drugs for). So I feel completely alone and overwhelmed all of the time, barely keeping on top of bills as well as affording food, while he still thinks he’s entitled to spend what he wants on himself (usually around £100 a month, I know it doesn’t sound a lot but when you’re in the UC system it really pulls on the budget, and by pulls means I’m having to shop on £30 a week including nappies and wipes for little one). I honestly feel like now I’m in so deep I don’t even know how I’d go about leaving him, whether I really want to or if I’m just hormonal, but the house we’ve just moved into is owned by his parents (very lucky we get on extremely well, most of the family say it’s because I’ve ‘straightened’ him out, but obviously they don’t see behind closed doors) so I feel like I’m in an awkward position, would I have to find somewhere else to live even though I know without me he couldn’t afford to pay his parents rent so it’d put a strain on them, also he guilts me that if I ever do leave him I’ll take his babies away to which I reply obviously they will live with me but we would share custody and he would be able to see them/have them over whenever he wants (even though I don’t really trust him to be able to look after them properly, even the thought gives me anxiety). I really am on edge constantly, this second pregnancy in some ways is harder than the first as my bump is so much bigger, I have an iron deficiency and think I may be experiencing some PGP (think that’s what it’s called anyway...) I struggle walking for longer than half an hour, even getting around shops is a struggle, plus all the strain is on me to get us around as I’m the one that drives. I don’t really want to share this but suppose I need to give the full story, my other half also smokes weed (where the £100 a month upwards goes) he’s done it since he was 14 (changes to 12 in some arguments, can’t really trust his ‘facts) and says it’s now helping with his back pain so can’t go without it, but I honestly think if he really wanted to he could stop, he said he would when our first came along but obviously it never happened. Anyway he’s run out over the last few days and hasn’t been able to get any so is incredibly short tempered and irritable, picking at me over anything and everything, we got into an argument over something stupid this morning which blew up and ended up with him saying our baby doesn’t deserve me as a mother (I think he meant I don’t deserve her, he’s not very good with words) which is always how our arguments end up, he guilts me and basically says I’m a bad mum, which I know isn’t true because I give every single second of my time to my baby, I love her with every fibre of me, I haven’t actually left her for longer than half an hour since she was born (I probably love her a bit too much haha but I don’t know if that’s possible!) I’m just sick of being made to feel like I’m not enough, like I’m not doing enough, like I’m a bad mum and a bad girlfriend, I think I really just needed to rant more than anything because I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about any of this, my family don’t like him and just tell me to leave which of course isn’t that easy, and his family are sympathetic but end up just brushing it off as that’s just how he is. I suppose I’m just really, really tired.