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Relationships

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How to ask someone out...

44 replies

Gemma1971 · 22/08/2019 13:19

... who works in a takeaway?

There's a guy I keep seeing when I walk past a local takeaway en route to do my shopping or just to pick up some forgotten bits and pieces a couple of times a week. He always seems to be in there, especially at the weekends, it's a takeaway pizza place and is usually super busy as it's good value for money and great food.

I'm not a big takeaway food eater myself, like, once in a blue moon usually, maybe not even every 6 months! But I went in there recently as a friend wanted something and he served us, and I noticed how attractive he was, dark and handsome... albeit on the short side...but those EYES :D I first noticed him ages ago, maybe even two years ago, and thought, mmm, cute.... but I was in a long-distance relationship... one that was never actually going to work out, and I am a couple of weeks out of that now.

I have to add that this relationship was so on and off due to him being a covert abuser that in my head it was over a long time ago, and I am not particularly grieving the end, and feeling generally positive about my decision.

I am ready for a fresh start. A fling.. maybe more... He has caught my eye and sometimes he will stare out of the window when I go past. I planned to buy a blank card, one with some random nice photo on the front, writing my number in it and saying something like, Hey, Would you like to meet for coffee /beer some time? I think you're cute.... and just hand it to him (in an envelope of course), after buying some chips.

What you reckon? She who dares, wins? Nothing ventured, nothing gained? Or too cheesy? Pardon the pizza association LOL

OP posts:
KurriKawari · 23/08/2019 16:13

Find it strange when people say "you dont know him." Yet people give their numbers to guys they meet in bars n clubs and don't know them. Plus its your telephone number, easy enough nowadays to block someone.

Everafter1 · 23/08/2019 16:25

Find it strange when people say "you dont know him." Yet people give their numbers to guys they meet in bars n clubs and don't know them

That's usually after a conversation. Remember the context here, a stranger handing him a card in his work asking for a date & he'll need to chase it up.

I hope it goes in OPs favour & they meet up but he could find it invasive or odd that there's not been any conversation prior.

Gemma1971 · 24/08/2019 12:23

Well I caught the bus last night from the street where the takeaway is. I didn't see him in there initially, then looked over as a friend had shouted hi and saw him standing at the back staring over at me, then when he saw I was looking, he looked away. I thought should I pull on my big girl's pants and go in, but my bus came... saved the day ha ha!

I picked up a cute blank card last night that has 2 pieces of fruit on it smiling. It's silly and harmless.... I am going out tonight so may not get time to pop in, but will do it over the Bank Holiday.

I totally hear everyone saying he might find it odd, as we've only exchanged a handful of words when he served me (he has a VERY sexy voice as well). But I'm going to do it!!

OP posts:
Gemma1971 · 24/08/2019 12:27

I went on a few dates ages ago with a guy who works in a shop in town. HE asked me out... he did it in a very subtle way though, and although he could have got into a lot of trouble for it, his manager was a totally cool young woman who knew he liked me for ages, she even told me.... but the circumstances were different, as he was usually putting stuff out on shelves and we would say hi and natter.

Nothing came of it, but I think it IS unusual for a shop or takeaway worker to do that and probably not on for most places. I used to work behind a bar and had customers ask me out quite a lot (and had dates, as some were nice), I know that is different too.... but I would never have asked a customer out.

OP posts:
OhHimAgain · 24/08/2019 12:31

Op, do it.

You only live once. I'm guessing you're both fairly young?

I think a lot of the people saying he'll find it weird, intrusive and inappropriate are forgetting that young men view the world slightly differently generally to middle aged women who will have had completely different life experiences!

When I was 21 and working in an alternative clothing shop, I'd have been quite flattered by this - there was a man who used to come to the shop nearly every day during the summer just to bring me an ice cream Grin and I thought it was lovely. I didn't know him to begin with either.

Now I'm a 45 year old professional, I'd be slightly less impressed! Wink

Gemma1971 · 24/08/2019 12:38

Well I am actually 48 and he looks 35-40 max.... yikes is that bad? But sometimes darker skinned people age better... I think he is Indian or Turkish...

OP posts:
GreyGardens88 · 24/08/2019 12:38

I think you should do it today, what if it's his last day

GreyGardens88 · 24/08/2019 12:39

It also means we may get a progress report by tomorrow Grin

Gemma1971 · 24/08/2019 12:39

The guy from the shop that I dated was only 26!! But when he asked me out I said "You DO realise I am a lot older than you, don't you?" And he said it didn't phase him... So obviously I would be totally honest (not in the card of course ha ha!!!)

OP posts:
Gemma1971 · 24/08/2019 12:43

GreyGardens, I think I should.... thanks! Will do my best to get down there later :D

OP posts:
OhHimAgain · 24/08/2019 12:51

Ah fuck it. Just do it and ignore everything I said in my previous post! Grin

Well, not all of it. I do think men would view this differently to women.

Plus, this is quite clearly a fun and lighthearted aspect of your personality and, if he doesn't like it, it just means you're not compatible.

All.relationships need some youthful lightheartedness.

Is that better? Grin

Gemma1971 · 26/08/2019 20:50

Update, but not exciting. Went to get card out of bag to write on it and pop it in tonight - nowhere to be found (lol). I must have left it in the supermarket. D'oh! Will pick one up again tomorrow...

OP posts:
Eliseya · 31/08/2019 21:29

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Gemma1971 · 22/09/2019 13:25

I FINALLY did it.... popped in, gave him a massive smile, and said hello, this is for you, and handed him the card. He said "thank you very much" - maybe he thought I was just a happy customer with a thank you card lol ... here's hoping he contacts me.. if not, heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained!!!

OP posts:
Unluckyinlove2019 · 22/09/2019 14:15

Eeek how exciting! Keeping everything crossed for you that he gets in touch! Keep us posted on what happens OP!

Mermaidsinthesand · 22/09/2019 14:35

What did you write in card OP?

I'd never have the nerve to do this, well done

Gemma1971 · 22/09/2019 17:10

I've liked him for a while and hummed and haaed about doing it, even minutes before I walked in. I had a couple of friend encourage me to do it, one though, like a few people on here, said I should go talk to him first. I almost did the other night, then totally bottled out and walked out with a menu in my hand LOL.

I just wrote that I have noticed how attractive he is on the few occasions I have been in there and always when I walk past and if he is single, would he like to meet for a coffee/drink/food and put my number on and signed it.

It did take a fair bit of nerve to do though.. afterwards I felt more like 15 than a middle aged woman LOL.

One of my friends said this morning that I should go back in and get some chips or something in there. And just gauge his reaction. In the cold light of day I feel kind of arghhhhhh what have I done a little bit now, but that's only my ego. Down ego, down. We shall see....

It would be great if he did call, as I fancy his pants off. Ha ha...

OP posts:
Mermaidsinthesand · 22/09/2019 17:59

Well done OP has he called or anything yet?

I wouldn't go back in just yet, incase that's putting him on the spot I hope this works out

Gemma1971 · 22/09/2019 18:38

Haven't heard anything yet..... I do think going in is probably a bit much. I don't want to look desperado either lol... sure he is attractive, at the end of the day though he may not even be single.

If you don't ask, you don't get though...

OP posts:
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