So anxious and worried - new job, reference refused

[Easternsun]

Apologies if this is in the wrong area but I am at my wits end.

I am currently between jobs (having a break of 2 weeks) before I start my new job in September which i am really excited about. I got an email today from my new job HR saying one of my referees has refused to write a reference :( i am shocked and nearly burst in to tears. The referee has been a reference in the past and no issues however it looks terrible even before i start my job.

I replied to HR and apologised and said she is on maternity leave but other than that have no idea why she would refuse, i look dodgy even before i start work and i feel lousy this has happened. I gave several other references HR can follow up....but i feel like a black cloud over my head before i even begin!

I am now panicking about my other referees (even though i have nothing to worry about). ...what if they also refuse...not that this has happened before....but i feel my new job is in jeopardy all because of this. However i know my last boss will give a glowing report but i can't calm down or relax.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Does it make me look dodgy even before i start an employment with my new company?

Sorry for the long email. I'm sitting at home alone trying not to cry :(

I had to decline a reference once because it had been more than X number of years since the employee had worked for us and that was company policy. Could it be something like that?

Did you ask her in advance? Some people like a courtesy call or email first.

If she is on maternity leave maybe she has decided not to do anything work-related during that time?

Presumably you asked her permission before giving her details? Did she agree then?

I would refuse to give a reference for anyone who hadn't contacted me in advance to ask my permission as (a) I won't give out confidential private data without an employee consenting in advance and (b) because it is rude to guve my details without asking my permission.

I would assume any reference request that came to me where someone hadn't discussed with me in advance could be a possible scam

Thanks for your advice and opinions. I wish I had contacted her beforehand and in hindsight kicking myself that I didnt but it was over 5 years ago that I worked with her.

Maybe it's a combination of both policy and maternity leave. She wouldn't have got my email anyway!

I just feel like my new job is in jeopardy or it just makes me look like a dodgy potential worker!
I get very anxious with work and to know I am starting off like this has brought my confidence crashing :(

Ok, i see this point. I get references from various previous employees that don't contact me, I just assume that is ok.

I suggest you call the HR person and talk it through with them. They offered you the job, they want you, and they'll be impressed if you are proactive in sorting out this minor admin problem. Try not to catastrophise OP

How would she have got the reference request, OP? If I got a phone call asking me for a reference whilst I was on mat leave I'd be totally pissed off.

She is on mat leave her work probably declined for her in her absence

Thanks CassettesAreCool I'm very good at catastrophising.
I responded saying I am happy to call the HR team but they replied saying that was fine and i didn't need to. I sent details of other referees but they already had a third which was on my application form they are contacting.

If she's on mat leave then why would you expect her to write a reference?

Anothertempusername same!
I really believe, now i've calmed down a bit that she is on mat leave and therefore she isn't working hence decline of reference.
I explained this to HR but feel like they think i am looking for an excuse.
However i did provide tree references so not sure why they had to tell me one was declined as they only need 2.

sorry three

Lulualla i didn't know she was on maternity leave at the time. But through friends who work for the company now realise she is on maternity leave

It’s quite normal to have references refused or not responded to at all. Have seen this happen in mass recruitment for years. Hence the fact that most employers ask for three or more. Try not to worry !

Thank you so much for the reassurance KenDoddsDadsDog. That has really helped me :)

Don't worry. It happens a lot. But learn from this and give people a heads up if you're putting them down, it's just courtesy.

yes, lesson learnt . Finger crossed it is a hiccup and nothing more which i will take from. I hate the idea i've come across as rude.

You put someone down as a reference that you hadn't even asked? Not cool. I swear my referees get bored because I ask every time I apply for a job. Which when you've been doing temporary contracts gets old quick.

FWIW I had to give contact details for every job I've had in the last X years, one was a 3 month job that I left during probation. Long story but they broke the law and I figured I could forget about it. So TBH, in those instances, I just put "HR department".

My point was: don't fret!

I never ask previous employers (ie the one's that go direct to HR if you put boss's name.). Assumed it's part of their job. Eech. Always ask if i need a personal reference or want someone who wasn't my direct boss.

Yeah, i've definitely learnt a lesson. Rather than being rude i was perhaps naive because i get references quite a bit and really not bothered if i've been contacted by said person but understand it can cause problems.

PurBal You are right! New HR told me to just pop down 'HR department' instead of an individual if i know they have moved on so i know something for the future now. My old manager (not maternity leave boss) left in disgrace and don't know her whereabouts so i didn't want to put her name down!

Glad it all worked itself out OP - congratulations on the new job

Thank you ThatCurlyGirl :)

I really appreciate all the advice and kind, helpful comments x